destinylaharris

Category: Journal entries

  • 33 and Going Through Menopause

    33 years old and about to go through menopause for the next 3–6 months.

    Am I an overachiever or what? lol

    I had my post-op follow-up this week, and everything went really well. I’m healing better than I expected, which is a huge relief because just a week ago I was convinced this whole recovery process was going to drag forever.

    Now comes the next part.

    My doctor wants to start me on a monthly injection that will put my body into a medically induced menopause for a few months.

    Which is…a sentence I definitely did not expect to be saying at 33.

    The goal is to suppress the endometriosis that may still be hanging around and hopefully help shrink my fibroid, too. It’s temporary, but knowing something is temporary doesn’t necessarily make it sound less intimidating when the word involved is menopause.

    I have no idea exactly how my body is going to react yet.

    Hot flashes? Probably.

    Mood swings? Maybe.

    My body deciding it suddenly hates me in brand-new and creative ways? Honestly, at this point, I wouldn’t even be surprised. 😂

    But there was good news mixed into all of it.

    My doctor said that after this treatment, I should have a better chance of getting pregnant.

    And that makes the next few months feel a little easier to accept.

    Not necessarily easier to go through, because I’m sure there are going to be days when I’m hot, irritated, exhausted, emotional, or all four at once and wondering why I agreed to any of this.

    But easier to understand.

    There’s a reason for it.

    There’s something I’m working toward.

    For now, I’m just trying to take everything one step at a time and let my body do what it needs to do.

    And on a completely unrelated but equally important note:

    I CAN FINALLY PICK THE KIDDOS UP AGAIN.

    Recovery has made me realize how much I take little things like that for granted. Being able to scoop one of them up, carry them around, or have them climb into my lap without immediately worrying about my incisions feels like getting a tiny piece of normal back.

    Honestly, that might have been the best part of the entire appointment.

    So that’s where I am right now.

    Healing well.

    About to temporarily enter menopause at 33.

    Still dealing with endometriosis and a fibroid.

    Still hopeful.

    And apparently collecting life experiences wildly out of order.

    Overachiever, remember? 😂

    Until next time.

    — Destiny

    P.S. Have you ever had your body throw you a completely unexpected curveball and just had to roll with it?

  • Recovery Update: We Have Poop

    I have officially reached the stage of surgery recovery where I am publicly celebrating a bowel movement.

    After taking stool softeners all week and adding Miralax this morning, it finally happened.

    There was, however, some engineering involved.

    I didn’t want to strain and hurt my stomach, so I needed something to elevate my feet.

    Enter: my niece’s potty chair.

    Was this its intended purpose?

    Absolutely not.

    Did it work?

    Absolutely.

    Recovery is glamorous. 🤣

    — Destiny

  • We Got Some Answers.

    Yesterday, I ended my journal entry by saying I’d let you know what today brought.

    So…

    Here’s the update.

    The surgery went well.

    The doctors found endometriosis.

    They also found fibroids on the back side of my uterus.

    As strange as it sounds, I actually felt relieved hearing that.

    Not because I’m happy to have either of those things, obviously. But because after wondering for so long, there’s finally an explanation for at least part of what I’ve been experiencing.

    I’ll know more in about two weeks when I go back for my follow-up appointment, but for now, I’m just grateful to finally have some answers.

    When I woke up after surgery, I was cramping like I was on my period, and I was definitely uncomfortable.

    The nurse gave me some medication through my IV, and within seconds the cramps eased up.

    I looked at her and joked that I needed them to prescribe whatever that was for my periods because I’ve never had anything work that fast before.

    After that, I celebrated my successful surgery with the world’s most gourmet meal:

    Saltine crackers and a Sprite.

    Honestly?

    Not bad.

    One thing I wasn’t expecting was the heated gown.

    Why has nobody told me those things exist?

    That may have been one of my favorite discoveries of the day.

    I’ve been home since around noon, sleeping on and off in the recliner, wrapped up in my blanket with Bailey Sarian playing in the background.

    My boyfriend stayed with me through everything today, waited while I was in surgery, and has been taking such good care of me since we got home.

    He’s definitely earned a few extra brownie points. 🖤

    Thankfully, I’m not in the kind of pain I was preparing myself for.

    Mostly, I’m just uncomfortable, crampy, and unbelievably sleepy.

    I have a feeling tonight will end the same way most of today has gone…

    With another nap.

    Yesterday I wrote that maybe today would bring answers.

    It did.

    Not all of them.

    But enough to finally feel like we’re moving in the right direction.

    For now, I think that’s enough.

    I’ll keep you updated after my follow-up appointment in a couple of weeks.

    Until next time,

    -Destiny

    P.S. For now, my only plans involve naps, blankets, and letting my body do the hard work of healing. 🖤

  • It Is What It Is

    Tomorrow morning, I’ll be having surgery.

    I’ve noticed something kind of funny.

    Everyone else seems more concerned about it than I am.

    People keep asking if I’m nervous, and I keep giving them the same answer.

    Not really.

    I’ve never been someone who gets overwhelmed by surgeries. My mindset has always been pretty simple:

    It is what it is.

    Life keeps moving.

    And today proved that.

    Today was the last day of summer school.

    The building felt different. Everyone was excited for summer to officially begin, but there was also a quiet sadness woven into the day. Two of my coworkers are moving on to different chapters. One is leaving altogether, and another accepted a new position, so today was our last day working together.

    It’s funny how a place can feel different the moment you realize someone won’t be there tomorrow.

    After work, I spent part of the afternoon driving friends around because life apparently decided everyone’s car should act up at the same time.

    Later tonight, my boyfriend and I are going to see if we can help fix one of them before coming home, making dinner, and ending the night the way we usually do—with something familiar playing on the TV and a chance to unwind.

    In between all of that…

    I have surgery tomorrow.

    I’m not packing a hospital bag.

    I’ll throw on a pair of baggy sweatpants, grab my favorite blanket, and head out in the morning.

    Tomorrow morning I’ll be getting up about an hour and a half earlier than I’m used to.

    Other than that, it’ll probably feel like any other weekday.

    I’ll get dressed.

    I’ll put on deodorant.

    I’ll brush my teeth.

    I’ll stand in the bathroom getting ready for the day just like I always do.

    The only thing missing will be my morning medication. Since I’m not allowed to eat or drink before surgery, I’ll be skipping that part of my routine.

    It’s funny how something that feels so big can begin in such an ordinary way.

    The surgery itself doesn’t really scare me.

    If anything, I’m more curious than afraid.

    Curious about what they’ll find.

    Curious if this will finally answer some of the questions I’ve been carrying for a long time.

    This procedure is another step in trying to understand why becoming a mom hasn’t happened for us naturally.

    Maybe they’ll find something.

    Maybe they won’t.

    I think the only thing that really makes me nervous is the conversation afterward.

    The moment the doctor comes out to explain what they found.

    I’ll probably still be waking up from anesthesia, trying to keep my eyes open, and I know I’m not exactly known for remembering much afterward. I’m hoping whoever’s with me catches the things I won’t.

    Other than that…

    Life feels surprisingly normal.

    Dinner still has to be made.

    Cars still break down.

    People still move on to new jobs.

    Summer school still ends.

    Tomorrow just happens to include a hospital in the middle of all of it.

    Maybe tomorrow will bring answers.

    Maybe it’ll bring more questions.

    Either way…

    It’s another step forward.

    And right now, I think that’s enough.

    I’ll let you know what tomorrow brings.

    — Destiny

    P.S. I’ll be back soon. Hopefully with a few more answers… and at least one good anesthesia story. 🖤