Tag: little moments

  • Sunday Things #12

    This week started with me getting completely ready for work—

    and then immediately throwing up my dinner from the night before.

    Cool.

    Fantastic.

    Love that for me.

    😂

    On top of that, my body had apparently decided one problem wasn’t enough, so I was dealing with something else incredibly uncomfortable too.

    I took the day off.

    Took a long soak.

    And planted myself in the recliner with Scream Queens for basically the entire day.

    Honestly?

    There are worse ways to spend a sick day.

    There are also significantly better ways.

    But we survived.

    😂

    Sissy called and asked me to come over because she missed me, which broke my heart a little, but considering I had spent the morning puking, I decided maybe bringing whatever the hell was happening with me around a house full of children was a bad idea.

    Look at me.

    Making responsible adult decisions.

    Gross.

    One of my kiddos from work also called me that day because it was his last day with us.

    He’s moving on to a different school, which is so exciting for him, but apparently he asked for me as soon as he got there that morning.

    😭

    I had already been upset that I wasn’t going to get to tell him goodbye or wish him luck.

    Then he called me.

    And told me he was going to miss me.

    Y’all.

    My whole fucking heart.

    I better get updates.

    That’s all I’m saying.


    Later, I picked my oldest niece up from school.

    She started telling me about a book she wanted from the book fair.

    Her grades are up.

    Her work is turned in.

    She’s doing really well.

    So after figuring out what she still needed for it, I stopped at the ATM and made sure she had enough.

    It’s a book.

    She’s doing well in school.

    Of course I’m going to help her buy the damn book.

    😂

    And speaking of spending money—

    apparently I’m going to see Scene Queen next weekend.

    My friend’s daughter called me and asked if I would take her.

    Her dad overheard the conversation and basically went:

    I’ll buy the tickets.

    Well.

    Okay then.

    😂

    This will be our second outing together in about a month, though, which means now I need to plan two things with her brother.

    I don’t make the rules.

    Actually, I do.

    And apparently the rule is:

    EVERYBODY GETS ACTIVITIES.


    🕷️ Nature and I Are No Longer Speaking

    Tuesday.

    Oh, Tuesday.

    I got off work and Doodoo called me.

    “BlahBlah, up!”

    Say less, baby.

    I’m coming.

    Naturally, Pooh Boy also decided he was coming home with me.

    Then Sissy very politely asked:

    “NeeNee, can I come to your house for just a little bit?”

    Of course.

    “Can I come home after?”

    Absolutely.

    😂

    So now I have three children.

    We spent about two and a half hours outside.

    Everything was fine.

    Until I walked toward the back steps to grab bug spray and saw something move.

    I looked down.

    Jumped backward.

    And immediately thought:

    What the FUCK kind of spider-looking shit is THAT!?

    Absolutely.

    Fucking.

    Not.

    😭

    I called my sister.

    Turns out this giant nightmare creature was an orb-weaving garden spider.

    A female.

    And apparently the reason I had never seen one this terrifying before is because I had only noticed the smaller ones.

    Cool.

    New fear unlocked.

    Except my sister wanted her.

    At her house.

    And asked me to catch her.

    …

    I need everyone to understand something.

    I have arachnophobia.

    Not “ew, spiders are gross.”

    Not “haha, get it away from me.”

    My heart was racing.

    My palms were sweating.

    I couldn’t breathe properly.

    By the time it was over, my entire body was shaking so badly that I had to squat down and remind myself how the fuck to breathe.

    This is not a game for me.

    😂😭

    And yet—

    I caught that big-ass spider.

    Why?

    Because my sister wanted it.

    If anybody ever questions how much I love that woman again, I would like this entered into evidence.

    Because if ANYBODY ELSE asked me to catch a spider that damn big for them, I would’ve told them they had lost their fucking mind.

    Afterward, while trying to recover from my near-death experience, I told my sister:

    “I’m glad you didn’t record that.”

    …

    She recorded it.

    SHE RECORDED THE WHOLE FUCKING THING.

    😭😂

    Apparently she was laughing so hard while watching me fight for my life that she gave herself a migraine.

    Glad one of us had fun.

    We delivered the spider to her new home.

    My sister put her on the mailbox.

    The spider was pissed.

    A praying mantis was offered as tribute.

    The spider declined.

    The praying mantis took one look at her and basically said:

    Actually, I have somewhere else to be.

    Same, little buddy.

    Same.

    By the time I got home, I could still feel imaginary spiders crawling all over my body.

    I sat in the recliner repeating:

    I don’t have spiders on me.

    Ate dinner.

    I don’t have spiders on me.

    Boyfriend said it was time for bed.

    Absolutely not.

    I am not taking these imaginary spiders into my sheets.

    I took a shower.

    The spiders finally went away.

    😮‍💨

    Nature and I were officially done.

    Or so I thought.


    🍀 Apparently Nature Felt Bad

    Wednesday morning, I was walking back from breakfast when something on the ground caught my eye.

    I stopped.

    Looked down.

    And—

    A FOUR-LEAF CLOVER.

    Y’ALL.

    I have never found one before.

    I am in my 30s.

    I have looked.

    Nothing.

    I actually already own a five-leaf clover that a friend found in my front yard and gave me, but I had never found a four-leaf one myself.

    Until now.

    So Tuesday, nature gave me a giant nightmare spider.

    Wednesday, nature gave me my first four-leaf clover.

    …

    Fine.

    Apology accepted.

    But nature is still on thin fucking ice.

    😂🍀


    💭 A Thought I’ve Been Carrying

    I said no this week.

    Nothing dramatic.

    Nobody was mad at me.

    Nobody’s feelings were hurt.

    My sister asked if we wanted the kids, and I said:

    Absolutely not.

    😂

    I love those babies more than anything.

    If Doodoo calls me and says, “BlahBlah, up!” nine times out of ten, I’m already looking for my shoes.

    But Wednesday?

    I wanted to go home.

    Sit on my couch.

    Have absolutely nobody need anything from me.

    And do nothing.

    So that’s what I did.

    And I’ve been thinking about that more than I probably should.

    Because sometimes I think we accidentally convince ourselves that loving people means always being available to them.

    That if we can show up, we should.

    That saying no means we’re letting somebody down.

    But I don’t think that’s true.

    Sometimes loving the people in my life looks like dropping everything when they need me.

    Sometimes it looks like three kids taking over my house for an entire weekend.

    And sometimes it looks like:

    Not today. I’ll see you tomorrow.

    😂

    I don’t love them any less on the days I choose myself.

    And considering I spent basically the entire weekend being climbed on, cried at, cuddled, pooped near, asked for snacks, and informed that somebody had, in fact, shit—

    I think taking Wednesday off was an excellent fucking decision.

    😂


    😂 This Week’s “Well…That Happened.”

    Honestly?

    There were options.

    At work, we started working on a new routine with one of my kiddos.

    It has been an adjustment.

    For both of us.

    😂

    There were some rough moments.

    There were also some really good ones.

    He sat longer than I expected him to.

    We worked on communication.

    He used his device more.

    And at one point, he managed to communicate basically:

    Destiny. Frustrated. Bathroom.

    …

    Sir.

    Correct.

    You read the room beautifully.

    😂

    Progress is progress.

    I’ll take it.

    Then I got my flu shot after work Thursday.

    I walked up to a group of nurses, held out my paperwork and said:

    “Who wants to poke me?”

    I have never seen that many nurses look at me that quickly in my life.

    😂

    A couple smiled.

    Two raised their hands.

    One went:

    “Get over here!”

    DAMN.

    Okay.

    Apparently everybody wants a turn.

    I got my shot and received my annual $5 Starbucks gift card.

    Which means I now have four of those things sitting in my wallet because I don’t drink coffee and apparently refuse to give them away.

    I posted them on Facebook.

    Several people immediately volunteered to take them off my hands.

    Excuse me?

    I got poked for those.

    They’re mine.

    I don’t know what I’m eventually going to do with $20 worth of Starbucks gift cards.

    But that’s not the point.

    😂


    Thursday evening also gave me the perfect start to October.

    I thought I was going to have the house to myself for a while.

    Boyfriend was supposed to work late.

    Kids were elsewhere.

    I was going to shower, get comfortable, and watch whatever the hell I wanted.

    Then he walked through the door.

    …

    Oh.

    There goes my remote.

    😂

    Except he wanted to watch a horror movie I’d been wanting to see too.

    So never mind.

    You may stay.

    We watched Monkey’s Magic Merry Go Round, and y’all—

    I am not spoiling it.

    Just know that it was weird.

    Creepy.

    Completely unhinged.

    And somehow exactly what I wanted from the first horror movie of October.

    Perfect.


    Friday night, I had all three kids again.

    There were Dino nuggets.

    Cookies.

    Baths.

    Tears.

    Children passing out one by one.

    And one very important discovery:

    the milk was BAD.

    Sissy took one sip and immediately went:

    “NeeNee, what is wrong with this milk?”

    Nothing. It’s the same milk Mommy buys.

    “It tastes sour.”

    …

    Excuse me?

    Boyfriend brought me the jug.

    It was swollen.

    It hissed when I opened it.

    There was stuff around the rim.

    It smelled like death.

    Absolutely the fuck not.

    🤢

    I looked at him.

    He looked at me.

    I looked at the milk.

    I looked back at him.

    You gave this to her!?

    Sir.

    Straight to jail.

    😂

    Sissy got juice.

    Then she called her mom.

    At one point, while trying to watch YouTube at the same time, she told my sister:

    “Mommy, I can’t hear my YouTube.”

    My sister apparently asked if she wanted to get off the phone.

    “No, I think you just need to quiet down is all.”

    😭😭😭

    My sister MUTED HERSELF.

    Five minutes later, Sissy decided she was finished with the conversation.

    Absolutely ruthless.


    ❤️ This Week’s Gratitude

    Saturday was a birthday party.

    And somehow, I think my gratitude this week is just—

    getting to be part of all this.

    The chaos.

    The little voices.

    The ridiculous conversations.

    The fact that Doodoo can be completely inconsolable, and I can ask:

    “Do you hear that?”

    “Yeah.”

    “What is it?”

    “I don’t know.”

    “Do you see that?”

    “Yeah.”

    “What is it?”

    “I don’t know.”

    And by the time we’re finished, he’s calm enough to tell me where he got hurt.

    The fact that Sissy and I apparently become professional athletes the second a piñata breaks.

    Because when that candy hit the ground?

    Y’ALL.

    We went IN.

    😂

    I was on my hands and knees.

    Another adult was on the ground with us.

    Arms and legs were being used to drag candy into our territory.

    There was no dignity.

    There was only victory.

    Sissy walked away with one bag practically bursting at the seams and another more than halfway full.

    We won piñata.

    I don’t care if that’s not technically a thing.

    We won.

    😂

    And then there are the tiny moments.

    The boys crying because Uncle came home and they both wanted him.

    Doodoo choosing Finding Nemo over CaseOh at dinner.

    Pooh Boy waking up Sunday morning yelling:

    “Guncle!”

    Doodoo climbing over me and lightly smacking Uncle in the face:

    “Uncle! Wake wake!”

    😂

    And this morning, after breakfast, Doodoo crawled into my lap.

    I smelled something suspicious.

    Did you poop?

    “No. I farted.”

    Okay, well, your ass stinks, boy.

    A few minutes later:

    “BlahBlah?”

    Yeah?

    “I shit!”

    …

    You shit!?

    “Yup.”

    Great.

    Beautiful.

    This is the life I am grateful for.

    😂


    And now it’s Sunday night.

    I took Doodoo home.

    Cleaned the living room.

    Finished laundry.

    Finally went through a giant pile of clothes I have been ignoring for longer than I’m willing to admit.

    I am not discussing the rest of the laundry situation because my boyfriend managed to piss my entire soul off over it today.

    His clothes eventually ended up in a pile beside him.

    Handle your business, sir.

    😂

    Dinner is still frozen.

    This post is late.

    Again.

    And I think I may officially have to admit that Sunday Things and its current posting time are no longer compatible with my actual Sundays.

    We’ll figure that out later.

    I’m also coughing enough that I decided not to visit my friend and her new baby today.

    😭

    I am dying to meet him.

    But tiny brand-new humans do not need whatever bullshit my immune system may or may not be trying to pull right now.

    So I’ll wait.

    Impatiently.


    This week started with me sick in a recliner.

    Somewhere in the middle, I caught a spider despite every cell in my body screaming ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT, found my first four-leaf clover, watched a creepy movie, survived another week of tiny-human chaos, won a piñata war, and was informed very matter-of-factly:

    “I shit.”

    And now I’m sitting here tired.

    Possibly getting sick.

    Behind on dinner.

    Behind on this post.

    And surrounded by evidence that people live here.

    Honestly?

    I keep saying it lately, but I still mean it:

    I love my little life.

    It’s loud.

    It’s weird.

    Sometimes it has giant spiders.

    Sometimes it gives me four-leaf clovers the next morning as an apology.

    And apparently sometimes the milk hisses.

    But it’s mine.

    And that’s a pretty damn good life.

    Until next time,

    —Destiny

    P.S. What’s one thing from your week that made you think, “Well…that definitely wasn’t on my bingo card”? 😂

  • 📷 Learning to Look Closer #12: Between the Songs

    Concert photography makes you want to chase the obvious moments.

    The singer at the microphone.

    The lights hitting perfectly.

    The crowd with their hands in the air.

    The big moments.

    But sometimes I like the ones in between better.

    I took this photo at the concert, and there isn’t actually a whole lot happening in it.

    She isn’t singing into a microphone.

    There isn’t a giant explosion of lights behind her.

    There aren’t a hundred things fighting for your attention.

    It’s just her.

    Standing on the edge of the stage.

    Arms stretched toward the ceiling.

    Purple light and smoke filling almost everything around her.

    And somehow, that makes her feel even smaller and the moment feel even bigger.

    That’s what I keep coming back to when I look at this picture.

    The space.

    I could have cropped most of it away.

    I could have brought her closer and made her fill the frame.

    But I don’t think I want to.

    Because the empty space is part of the photograph.

    It shows how big that stage felt.

    How much atmosphere was hanging in the air.

    How one person can take up such a tiny part of a photograph and still be the first thing your eye finds.

    And I love the way she’s reaching into all of it.

    There’s something about concerts that photographs never quite capture.

    You can photograph the artist.

    You can photograph the lights.

    You can photograph the smoke.

    But you can’t really photograph the bass vibrating through your chest or the sound of hundreds of people singing the same words.

    You can’t photograph what it feels like to hear a song you love performed right in front of you.

    But every once in a while, I take a picture that feels like it caught a tiny piece of that feeling anyway.

    I think this is one of those.

    Not because I caught the biggest moment.

    Because I noticed the smaller one.

    And sometimes, when I look closer, those are the pictures I end up loving most.

    Until next time,
    —Destiny

    P.S. When you take pictures at concerts or events, do you usually photograph the big moments—or the little ones happening in between?

  • Sunday Things #10

    Some weeks make absolutely no sense while you’re living them.

    You just keep moving from one thing to the next, wondering what the hell could possibly happen now.

    And then Sunday gets here.

    You look back at everything that happened over the last seven days and realize…

    Oh.

    Apparently the answer was a lot.

    😂

    This week had some really good moments.

    Some really shitty ones.

    A few that were both.

    And several that I’m pretty sure could only happen to me.

    But somewhere in the middle of all of it, I kept finding these little moments that made everything else feel a little less heavy.

    A kid who’s getting way too big crawling into my lap like he still fits there perfectly.

    A friend who knew when I needed somebody to listen instead of give advice.

    A four-year-old noticing that one of my nails didn’t match and deciding she needed to fix it for me.

    Nothing huge.

    Just little things.

    And apparently those are the things I carried with me the most this week.


    ☕ This Week’s Comfort

    Monday, my kiddo at work crawled into my lap while I was sitting in the rocker.

    My immediate thought was:

    Awh! He wants cuddles! Sweet boy!

    Nope.

    Well…

    Kind of.

    He wrapped his hand around my throat—

    and fell asleep.

    🥲😂

    Literally put himself to sleep.

    This boy has not taken a nap at school in almost a year, aside from the occasional one when he’s sick.

    I don’t know if he missed me that much while I was gone.

    I don’t know if he was just exhausted.

    Maybe both.

    But he slept in my lap for about 45 minutes while I rocked him.

    I moved his hand from my throat because, you know…

    breathing.

    But other than that?

    I didn’t move him.

    My arm fell asleep.

    My legs fell asleep.

    I stayed exactly where I was.

    When he finally woke up, he started giggling, nuzzled into me, and stayed there for another half hour.

    And somewhere in the middle of all of that, I realized something.

    He’s gotten so big.

    Like…

    when the hell did that happen?

    I remember when holding him was easy.

    Picking him up was easy.

    Carrying him around was easy.

    Now this child is almost my height.

    Granted, I’m literally five feet tall and most fifth graders are probably going to tower over me soon, but STILL.

    😂

    He isn’t the little baby I originally started working with anymore.

    He’s growing up.

    Fast.

    And nobody really warns you about that part.

    Did I slowly watch him grow and somehow not notice?

    Did he hit some massive growth spurt while I was recovering from surgery?

    When exactly did this happen?

    I have questions.

    And I think the universe owes me some answers.


    Of course, the universe responded by making my muffler fall off my car as I was leaving work.

    ☠️

    Because apparently we couldn’t just have a sweet Monday.

    My friend from maintenance came and helped me tie it up well enough to get home, and I parked the car there for the night because my boyfriend worked late and I was NOT about to have that man crawling underneath my car at ten o’clock at night.

    Then came the game of:

    How the fuck am I getting to work tomorrow?

    Mom could take me, but I’d be two and a half hours late.

    My sister’s best friend couldn’t.

    Eventually, one of my coworkers texted me around ten that night and said he could pick me up.

    Problem solved.

    For approximately eight hours.

    Because then Tuesday happened.


    💭 A Thought I’ve Been Carrying

    Tuesday morning started with my mom.

    I called to tell her I didn’t need the ride to work anymore.

    She huffed.

    “Okay.”

    And hung up.

    Welllllll…

    OKKKKAAAAYYYYY then.

    I called her back because I still needed a ride home, and she literally has to pass my house anyway.

    She huffed again.

    “Okay.”

    I asked what was wrong.

    And suddenly we were having an entire argument about me being a bad daughter, having an attitude, yelling at her…

    Meanwhile, my boyfriend was in the bathroom with the door closed and could hear every word she was yelling through the phone I was holding to my ear.

    Then she hung up on me.

    So I called her back.

    And apparently Tuesday’s theme became:

    MATCHING ENERGY.

    I told her if she wanted to be a rude ass bitch to me that morning, she didn’t have to worry about giving me a ride.

    I didn’t need her.

    Just because she’s my mom doesn’t mean she has to be part of my life.

    She started to say something.

    I told her I didn’t give a fuck what she had to say anymore.

    And I hung up.

    Yay me.

    🙃

    So naturally, I called my best friend to vent.

    “I don’t know what to tell you. I told you so.”

    …

    Ma’am.

    I did not call for an I-told-you-so.

    Click.

    😂

    She texted me afterward.

    I opened the messages.

    Didn’t read them.

    I had reached my quota.

    Then another friend called me.

    The first thing she said was:

    “Your mom?”

    YES.

    MY MOM.

    😂

    “What happened?”

    And I told her.

    She didn’t tell me what I should have done.

    She didn’t give me an “I told you so.”

    She just listened.

    By the end of the conversation, she had me smiling and giggling.

    And I was okay again.

    That stayed with me.

    Sometimes you don’t need somebody to solve anything.

    Sometimes you don’t even need advice.

    Sometimes you just need somebody to let you be pissed off for a minute.


    Unfortunately, the universe was not finished with Tuesday.

    My doctor’s office messaged me saying my medication had been denied by insurance and that the delay was because I gave them the wrong pharmacy.

    So.

    Again.

    MATCHING ENERGY.

    I called.

    I spent about an hour on the phone trying to figure out what the hell was happening.

    The woman who answered offered to transfer me to the nurse who had sent the message.

    I specifically said:

    Absolutely not.

    I was not in the mood to give that woman a piece of my mind.

    Guess who she transferred me to?

    That exact nurse.

    “Imagine that. She transferred me to the one nurse I told her I don’t want to talk to today.”

    “Excuse me?”

    “You heard me right.”

    She tried to apologize.

    At that point, I didn’t want an apology.

    I wanted to know what the hell was happening with my shots and what my options were now.

    Then I talked to another nurse who kept interrupting me.

    “Ma’am! Please do NOT interrupt me while I’m talking to you. That’s very rude.”

    And then—

    “Okay.”

    With a huff.

    THAT FUCKING HUFFED ‘OKAY.’

    Apparently that was just the sound of Tuesday.

    😭

    Then I found out my gynecologist quit to work closer to home.

    Which…

    I completely understand.

    Good for her.

    Terrible for me.

    Because I actually liked her.

    Now I’m apparently being passed between the other four doctors at the practice, and I’m sorry, but the idea of four different gynecologists taking turns looking at my vagina does NOT sit right with me.

    At all.

    By this point, I was at work, stressed, overstimulated, playing phone tag with the doctor’s office—

    and my kiddo had decided that because I was on my phone, obviously he needed to participate.

    Trying to take my phone.

    Putting his ear against mine.

    Trying to listen.

    Trying to talk.

    Sir.

    You are nonverbal.

    This is not FaceTime.

    What are you trying to accomplish here?

    😭😂

    I was DONE.

    And then my boyfriend texted me.

    I opened it.

    And immediately started crying.

    Happy tears this time.

    He bought me two tickets to see The Pretty Reckless.

    MY FAVORITE BAND.

    I had already accepted that I was probably going to miss them because my first paycheck since surgery comes the day after the concert.

    I’d been upset about it all month.

    And on one of the shittiest mornings I’d had in a while, that man bought the tickets.

    My entire fucking day changed.

    I can die happy now.

    Well.

    After the concert.

    Obviously.

    😂

    And if I don’t?

    That man might be getting an engagement ring for Christmas because apparently I have decided I’m marrying him ASAP.

    The rest of Tuesday?

    Completely different day.

    My kiddo was on his best behavior.

    No more drama at work.

    I gave him a free day, and we had fun.

    My sister’s best friend picked me up.

    I went home.

    Showered.

    Picked out my outfit for Breaking Benjamin AND my outfit for The Pretty Reckless.

    And then Sissy called me.

    We stayed on the phone for an hour and a half.

    We barely talked.

    Every once in a while, one of us would say:

    “I love you.”

    And then we’d go right back to whatever we were doing.

    😂

    She’s four.

    Apparently we have already reached the stage of our relationship where neither of us needs to actually contribute anything to the phone call.

    We just need to know the other one is still there.

    And honestly?

    I kind of love that.

    My boyfriend eventually got home, and we spent the next hour and a half underneath my car trying to pull the muffler up enough for me to drive.

    I had to take a second shower because I was covered in dirt.

    By 9:40, I was finally ready to eat dinner and take my ass to bed.

    For a crappy-ass morning?

    It ended pretty nicely.


    📷 Through My Lens

    Wednesday morning began with one of the most horrifying situations I have ever found myself in.

    You are not ready for this story.

    I slept naked Tuesday night.

    And when I say naked, I mean—

    booty-ass fucking naked.

    We did the deed.

    I rolled over.

    Passed the fuck out.

    Fantastic ending to the night.

    Then my alarm went off Wednesday morning.

    I snoozed it.

    And slowly…

    my stomach started rumbling.

    Not hunger.

    No.

    This was a goblin.

    Something inside of me was trying to escape.

    I tried to get out of bed.

    I COULDN’T.

    My belly ring was attached to the bed.

    I’m lying on my stomach.

    Ass in the air.

    Completely naked.

    A gastrointestinal demon is rapidly approaching the exit.

    And I am physically tethered to my fucking bed by my belly button.

    😭😭😭

    I’m squeezing muscles I didn’t know I had.

    Fighting the bed.

    Trying to determine whether ripping my belly ring out would be preferable to what was about to happen.

    And finally—

    THE BED RELEASED ME.

    I ran to the bathroom naked.

    Sat down.

    And…

    shit started flying.

    Actual shit.

    From my asshole.

    It wasn’t a goblin.

    It was diarrhea.

    😩

    My stomach hurt.

    I was nauseous.

    I was sweating.

    I didn’t know which end was going to betray me next.

    I sat on that toilet for about an hour.

    I never puked.

    But I was prepared for war.

    And somewhere in the middle of all of this, I had another horrifying realization.

    Imagine if that bed hadn’t let me go.

    Imagine being stuck by my belly ring while I shit all over myself.

    The blankets.

    The bed.

    MY SLEEPING BOYFRIEND.

    No.

    Absolutely not.

    There is no recovering from that.

    I would have had to break up with him.

    Move.

    Change my name.

    Start an entirely new life.

    😭☠️

    I called my mom—

    YES, I KNOW.

    —and asked if she had Pepto.

    She didn’t.

    Thankfully my boyfriend was off work, so once he woke up, he went to CVS and got me some.

    I chugged it in the car.

    And then I found out my niece and both nephews had the exact same stomach symptoms.

    Cool.

    So apparently the tummy goblin was contagious.

    I called off work.

    And yes.

    I still went to the Breaking Benjamin concert that night.

    I had disposable period underwear.

    That’s basically a diaper.

    We were going to be fine.

    🤣

    By the time we left, my stomach was still upset but nowhere near as bad.

    We went to Texas Roadhouse.

    I ate very little.

    And realized I had forgotten the Pepto at home.

    Good thing I had my diaper.

    ☠️😂

    And then?

    The concert was SO GOOD.

    Kami Kehoe was better than I expected.

    Starset?

    WOW.

    They put on such a good show. They kept my attention on that stage the entire time.

    Chevelle was basically a giant blast of childhood memories I didn’t know I needed.

    And, of course—

    Breaking Benjamin.

    Worth risking the tummy goblin.

    😂

    Getting home was considerably less fun.

    It took almost half an hour just to get out of the venue.

    We got rerouted.

    Drove in circles.

    And at one point my boyfriend turned into the wrong lane while another car was coming toward us.

    It barely missed us.

    That part was terrifying.

    Once we finally got onto the interstate, I could relax.

    Apparently I relaxed a little too much because I fell asleep before we got home.


    Thursday was considerably quieter.

    Thank fuck.

    My stomach still hurt, but it was more of a leftover hurt.

    No goblin.

    We spent the morning cuddled up in the living room, my boyfriend in the recliner and me on the couch, watching CaRtOoNz on YouTube.

    I stayed on that couch basically all day.

    Worked on my blog.

    Started researching my next History After Dark topic.

    Got a slight headache and tried lying down in the dark.

    Then my sister called.

    And somehow I discovered that I apparently live in an alternate universe.

    I told her:

    “I asked my boyfriend if he would take me to see Practical Magic 2, and do you know what he said?”

    “No?”

    “Nope.”

    “What’s that?”

    …

    WHAT’S THAT!?

    Practical Magic!

    🎶 You put the lime in the coconut… 🎶

    MIDNIGHT MARGARITAS!?

    NONE OF THIS!?

    She tells me she knows the song from Daddy Daycare.

    I add my best friend to the call.

    SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT PRACTICAL MAGIC IS EITHER.

    She adds one of her friends.

    HE DOESN’T KNOW.

    I add my sister’s best friend.

    Surely SHE knows.

    The movie came out in 1998.

    She’s older than me.

    SHE DIDN’T KNOW EITHER.

    WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!?

    Is this a glitch in the Matrix?

    Did I accidentally cross into another timeline?

    Am I the only person left who remembers midnight margaritas!?

    I have never felt so alone.

    😭😂


    ❤️ This Week’s Gratitude

    There were a lot of little things this week.

    People giving me rides when my car decided it no longer required a muffler.

    A friend letting me vent until I could laugh again.

    My boyfriend buying me concert tickets because he knew how badly I wanted to go.

    But one of my favorite little things happened Friday.

    I was roughhousing with my kiddo while we waited for his bus, and he turned just right and broke one of my nails basically in half.

    Now.

    I have really long nails.

    They are ALWAYS done.

    So when I say I broke it in half, I still technically had a fingernail.

    To some people?

    Normal nail.

    To me?

    THERE WAS NO NAIL.

    😭

    It was basically a nub.

    My finger hurt, and I’m getting a whole new set next week anyway, so I went to my nail tech and just had her cut it down.

    Later, I went to my sister’s house.

    Sissy saw my finger.

    She asked what happened.

    I told her.

    And that little girl decided she was going to fix it.

    She colored the nail green to match the rest.

    Then she looked at it and apparently decided:

    No.

    Too boring.

    So she added a little pink paw print.

    🥹

    And I know that sounds like such a tiny thing.

    But my nails are always done.

    They’re never just plain.

    And she noticed.

    She wanted it to match.

    Then she wanted to give it a little extra something because she knows NeeNee’s nails aren’t boring.

    She’s four.

    And she noticed.

    I love that kid.


    😂 This Week’s “Well…That Happened.”

    Oh, I have options.

    SO MANY OPTIONS.

    Friday morning, my kiddo came into work and immediately chose chaos.

    Looked at the teacher.

    Started throwing things.

    Tantrum.

    Cool.

    It’s going to be one of those days.

    Turns out?

    He was tired.

    Of course he was.

    Later, I was playing Monopoly Go on my phone.

    Yes, I was at work.

    No, I’m not supposed to be on my phone.

    It was Fun Friday, my kiddo was running around the classroom, and I knew exactly where he was and what he was doing.

    Don’t worry about me.

    😂

    He came over and touched my phone.

    “No.”

    He walked away.

    Got his speaking device.

    Came back.

    Pressed:

    “I play.”

    And looked at me.

    At first I told him, “Yes, you can go play.”

    Then I looked at him.

    He looked at me.

    …

    OH.

    You want to play MY game.

    😂

    “Okay. Come here.”

    He climbed into my lap, and we played Monopoly Go together.

    “One finger. Press here.”

    Good job.

    “Now we wait.”

    Good.

    “One finger. Press this one.”

    Good job, buddy.

    You’re doing it.

    🥹


    After work, I called my sister to see if the boys still wanted to stay the night.

    She said yes, but Pooh Boy wouldn’t be home until around 6:30, so she asked if I wanted to wait and pick them both up together.

    Fine by me.

    Then I hear Doodoo in the background:

    “NOOOOO!”

    No?

    “NOW!”

    Now?

    “Yeah!”

    Okay.

    Say less. I’m on my way.

    🤣

    I get there.

    I’m barely through the door.

    This boy comes running at me with his shoes.

    I put them on.

    He climbs up my leg.

    Looks at his mother.

    “Bye!”

    Waves.

    Blows her a kiss.

    ☠️😂

    We stayed a little longer so I could love on Sissy after she finished painting her dad’s nails.

    Then Doodoo, Mawmaw Nesi, and I went outside.

    I looked down for approximately two seconds to text my sister.

    Looked back up.

    There was RED STUFF ALL OVER DOODOO’S LEG.

    Internally:

    OH MY GOD. BLOOD.

    How are you bleeding!?

    Where are you bleeding!?

    Why is there so much!?

    I’m investigating while trying to stay calm.

    Then I notice some hanging out of his mouth around his binky.

    …

    “Doodoo, did you puke?”

    “Puke.”

    Oh.

    Cool.

    He had been drinking red juice.

    So my nephew had apparently just spontaneously vomited all over himself outside.

    That’s enough outdoor time for today.

    Bath.

    Immediately.

    😭

    Later, Pooh Boy got home.

    I checked my boyfriend’s location.

    Work.

    I asked if he could grab Pooh Boy on the way home.

    Yep.

    My sister asked how far away he was.

    I checked.

    “Twenty-five minutes.”

    She sits down on the couch.

    “Cool. I can sit for a minute.”

    KNOCK KNOCK.

    She considers not answering because she JUST sat down and isn’t expecting anyone yet.

    Maybe Pooh Boy’s grandma forgot something.

    She answers.

    Looks back at me through the phone.

    “How long before Uncle gets here?”

    “Twenty-five minutes. I just checked.”

    She turns the phone toward the door.

    “Uncle is here now.”

    …

    WHAT!?

    🤣🤣🤣

    Apparently I didn’t give Maps enough time to update his actual location.

    My bad.


    That night I went to put Pooh Boy’s pajamas on him.

    First problem:

    His entire butt cheek was hanging out of his diaper.

    How?

    Apparently his grandma had changed him before bringing him home.

    This is also the woman who once put his diaper on BACKWARDS, so…

    There’s that.

    😂

    Second problem:

    The pajamas he wore at my house LAST WEEKEND no longer fit.

    His belly was hanging out.

    The pants didn’t cover his legs.

    BRO.

    You did NOT get that big in a week.

    My sister just laughed and said she’d send more pajamas for my house next weekend.

    They were both asleep by eight.

    We LOVE an easy bedtime.

    Then around two in the morning:

    DONK.

    Followed immediately by Pooh Boy screaming bloody murder.

    I flew out of bed.

    Checked his head.

    No blood.

    No bumps.

    No obvious injury.

    Apparently he had managed to headbutt the wall.

    I cuddled him.

    Calmed him down.

    Put him back to bed.

    Crisis over.

    For that night.

    Because Saturday night?

    Saturday night that child declared war on sleep.

    He didn’t go down easily to begin with.

    He was yelling and playing until ten.

    Then at ONE IN THE MORNING, he woke up.

    And from one until after four, it was:

    Up.

    Down.

    Spin.

    Spin.

    Spin.

    Yell.

    Giggle.

    Throw things.

    Smack the bed.

    Run around the pack-n-play.

    Headbutt the wall.

    Scream.

    Giggle some more.

    Climb underneath the pillows.

    Climb underneath the blankets.

    Climb underneath the MAT in the pack-n-play.

    Reach over and try to pull the blanket off of us.

    FROM ONE UNTIL AFTER FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING.

    I finally started dozing around four because he had managed to stay quiet for longer than three minutes.

    I could still hear him moving.

    Still giggling.

    I have no idea what time he actually went back to sleep.

    Do you know what time he woke up?

    EIGHT.

    WHY!?

    😩😩😩


    Meanwhile, Doodoo had been super clingy Saturday.

    He’d puked Friday.

    He slept for hours Saturday morning.

    And the rest of the day, he basically wanted to become part of my body.

    Arms around me.

    Legs around me.

    Holding on for dear life.

    If I put him down?

    Throw himself backward.

    Stomp.

    Run straight back at me.

    Cling again.

    Cry.

    Okay.

    Okay.

    Come here.

    🥲

    So we spent most of Saturday cuddled in the recliner watching Jurassic World.

    My best friend who moved out of state was also back for the weekend because she finally got an apartment and came with a U-Haul to get the rest of her things.

    Naturally, being the wonderful best friend she is, she came to visit me.

    Well…

    “Visit me” might be generous.

    🤣

    She’s gained a little weight, so we spent approximately an hour playing dress-up in my dresses.

    She LOVES my dresses, but most of them have always been too big on her.

    Because I have huge-ass boobs.

    And hers are basically nonexistent.

    Yes, I know you read these posts. Hi. Love you. 🤣

    But now she can fit some of them, so she finally got to try on a bunch she’s been wanting to wear.

    And every single time she came out in another dress, Doodoo was sitting there going:

    “BlahBlah! That’s pretty!”

    😭😂

    Maybe this is where it starts.

    Women spend their childhoods watching other women try on dresses while everyone around them goes:

    “Ooooooh! That’s so pretty!”

    Then adulthood arrives and we’re fully trained.

    Friend comes out of dressing room.

    Automatic response:

    “THAT’S SO PRETTY.”

    Doodoo is simply getting an early education.


    Sunday morning, after approximately seventeen minutes of sleep—

    Okay.

    Slight exaggeration.

    But that’s what it felt like.

    I got up with Pooh Boy and went to the bathroom.

    I had to poop.

    He decided I was not allowed to do that alone.

    Fine.

    Whatever.

    At least I was the only one awake.

    While I’m sitting there, I hear the bed moving.

    Then little feet running across the floor.

    Bedroom door opens.

    More little feet.

    I open the bathroom door.

    Doodoo comes running in.

    Stops.

    Smiles.

    “Hi!”

    “Were you a big boy?”

    “Yeah!”

    “Did you wake up, get off the bed, and come find me all by yourself?”

    “Yeah!”

    He spends the rest of my bathroom trip hugging and lying on my leg.

    Awh.

    My big boy.

    🥹

    We come out.

    Uncle is sitting in the recliner.

    “Uncle! Doodoo said he was a big boy and did all of that by himself this morning!”

    My boyfriend looks at me.

    “That little motherfucker lied!”

    ☠️☠️☠️

    Apparently Doodoo had woken him up by karate chopping him in the throat and yelling:

    “UNCLE!”

    Then:

    “UP!”

    My boyfriend got him out of bed.

    So the only thing this child actually accomplished independently that morning was assaulting his uncle.

    🤣🤣🤣

    Sir.

    Why did you lie directly to my face?


    Later, I took Doodoo home.

    Sissy was having a VERY difficult time listening to her mom.

    Like…

    at all.

    So I talked to her about listening and told her that if she couldn’t listen to her mom, I was taking all of the princess stuff she got that day home with me.

    She could earn it back.

    She apologized to her mom.

    And then immediately went back to not listening.

    🫠

    Okay.

    “Get your shoes on. You’re going home with me.”

    TEARS.

    Suddenly we remembered how listening works.

    😂

    She apologized again.

    I gave her one more chance.

    She was still listening when I left, so she didn’t have to come home with me.

    Princess privileges maintained.


    I finally got home.

    And my boyfriend was sitting in the middle of the living room floor surrounded by all of our clothes.

    Great.

    Laundry.

    I was going to shower first.

    Apparently not.

    😂

    We finished the laundry.

    I showered.

    He went to play PalWorld with his best friend.

    And I went into the bedroom.

    Then I sent him a text:

    “I know you’re gaming, but do you want to come see if I participated in No Shave September? lol”

    Y’all.

    That man came running into that bedroom so fucking fast.

    🤣🤣🤣

    I knew exactly what I was doing.

    🥵


    And now it’s Sunday evening.

    The kids are home.

    The laundry is done.

    I’m showered.

    My boyfriend is playing PalWorld with his friend.

    And I’m on the couch.

    Not moving.

    Not answering any summons.

    Not fixing anything.

    Not crawling underneath a car.

    And hopefully not being attacked by any more stomach goblins.

    😂

    I’m tired.

    Very tired.

    But it was a good week.

    Not an easy one.

    Definitely not a quiet one.

    But a good one.

    There were concerts and cuddles and dinosaurs and people who showed up when I needed them.

    There were also bodily fluids, broken car parts, a broken nail, approximately three hours of sleep, and a shocking number of incidents involving somebody’s throat.

    Balance.

    😂

    And right now?

    The couch is comfortable.

    Everybody is where they’re supposed to be.

    I have nowhere else I need to go.

    I’ll take it.

    Until next time,
    —Destiny

    P.S. What was the most completely unhinged thing that happened in your week? Because I feel like I’ve set the bar pretty high this time. 😂

    Some weeks make absolutely no sense while you’re living them.

    You just keep moving from one thing to the next, wondering what the hell could possibly happen now.

    And then Sunday gets here.

    You look back at everything that happened over the last seven days and realize…

    Oh.

    Apparently the answer was a lot.

    😂

    This week had some really good moments.

    Some really shitty ones.

    A few that were both.

    And several that I’m pretty sure could only happen to me.

    But somewhere in the middle of all of it, I kept finding these little moments that made everything else feel a little less heavy.

    A kid who’s getting way too big crawling into my lap like he still fits there perfectly.

    A friend who knew when I needed somebody to listen instead of give advice.

    A four-year-old noticing that one of my nails didn’t match and deciding she needed to fix it for me.

    Nothing huge.

    Just little things.

    And apparently those are the things I carried with me the most this week.


    ☕ This Week’s Comfort

    Monday, my kiddo at work crawled into my lap while I was sitting in the rocker.

    My immediate thought was:

    Awh! He wants cuddles! Sweet boy!

    Nope.

    Well…

    Kind of.

    He wrapped his hand around my throat—

    and fell asleep.

    🥲😂

    Literally put himself to sleep.

    This boy has not taken a nap at school in almost a year, aside from the occasional one when he’s sick.

    I don’t know if he missed me that much while I was gone.

    I don’t know if he was just exhausted.

    Maybe both.

    But he slept in my lap for about 45 minutes while I rocked him.

    I moved his hand from my throat because, you know…

    breathing.

    But other than that?

    I didn’t move him.

    My arm fell asleep.

    My legs fell asleep.

    I stayed exactly where I was.

    When he finally woke up, he started giggling, nuzzled into me, and stayed there for another half hour.

    And somewhere in the middle of all of that, I realized something.

    He’s gotten so big.

    Like…

    when the hell did that happen?

    I remember when holding him was easy.

    Picking him up was easy.

    Carrying him around was easy.

    Now this child is almost my height.

    Granted, I’m literally five feet tall and most fifth graders are probably going to tower over me soon, but STILL.

    😂

    He isn’t the little baby I originally started working with anymore.

    He’s growing up.

    Fast.

    And nobody really warns you about that part.

    Did I slowly watch him grow and somehow not notice?

    Did he hit some massive growth spurt while I was recovering from surgery?

    When exactly did this happen?

    I have questions.

    And I think the universe owes me some answers.


    Of course, the universe responded by making my muffler fall off my car as I was leaving work.

    ☠️

    Because apparently we couldn’t just have a sweet Monday.

    My friend from maintenance came and helped me tie it up well enough to get home, and I parked the car there for the night because my boyfriend worked late and I was NOT about to have that man crawling underneath my car at ten o’clock at night.

    Then came the game of:

    How the fuck am I getting to work tomorrow?

    Mom could take me, but I’d be two and a half hours late.

    My sister’s best friend couldn’t.

    Eventually, one of my coworkers texted me around ten that night and said he could pick me up.

    Problem solved.

    For approximately eight hours.

    Because then Tuesday happened.


    💭 A Thought I’ve Been Carrying

    Tuesday morning started with my mom.

    I called to tell her I didn’t need the ride to work anymore.

    She huffed.

    “Okay.”

    And hung up.

    Welllllll…

    OKKKKAAAAYYYYY then.

    I called her back because I still needed a ride home, and she literally has to pass my house anyway.

    She huffed again.

    “Okay.”

    I asked what was wrong.

    And suddenly we were having an entire argument about me being a bad daughter, having an attitude, yelling at her…

    Meanwhile, my boyfriend was in the bathroom with the door closed and could hear every word she was yelling through the phone I was holding to my ear.

    Then she hung up on me.

    So I called her back.

    And apparently Tuesday’s theme became:

    MATCHING ENERGY.

    I told her if she wanted to be a rude ass bitch to me that morning, she didn’t have to worry about giving me a ride.

    I didn’t need her.

    Just because she’s my mom doesn’t mean she has to be part of my life.

    She started to say something.

    I told her I didn’t give a fuck what she had to say anymore.

    And I hung up.

    Yay me.

    🙃

    So naturally, I called my best friend to vent.

    “I don’t know what to tell you. I told you so.”

    …

    Ma’am.

    I did not call for an I-told-you-so.

    Click.

    😂

    She texted me afterward.

    I opened the messages.

    Didn’t read them.

    I had reached my quota.

    Then another friend called me.

    The first thing she said was:

    “Your mom?”

    YES.

    MY MOM.

    😂

    “What happened?”

    And I told her.

    She didn’t tell me what I should have done.

    She didn’t give me an “I told you so.”

    She just listened.

    By the end of the conversation, she had me smiling and giggling.

    And I was okay again.

    That stayed with me.

    Sometimes you don’t need somebody to solve anything.

    Sometimes you don’t even need advice.

    Sometimes you just need somebody to let you be pissed off for a minute.


    Unfortunately, the universe was not finished with Tuesday.

    My doctor’s office messaged me saying my medication had been denied by insurance and that the delay was because I gave them the wrong pharmacy.

    So.

    Again.

    MATCHING ENERGY.

    I called.

    I spent about an hour on the phone trying to figure out what the hell was happening.

    The woman who answered offered to transfer me to the nurse who had sent the message.

    I specifically said:

    Absolutely not.

    I was not in the mood to give that woman a piece of my mind.

    Guess who she transferred me to?

    That exact nurse.

    “Imagine that. She transferred me to the one nurse I told her I don’t want to talk to today.”

    “Excuse me?”

    “You heard me right.”

    She tried to apologize.

    At that point, I didn’t want an apology.

    I wanted to know what the hell was happening with my shots and what my options were now.

    Then I talked to another nurse who kept interrupting me.

    “Ma’am! Please do NOT interrupt me while I’m talking to you. That’s very rude.”

    And then—

    “Okay.”

    With a huff.

    THAT FUCKING HUFFED ‘OKAY.’

    Apparently that was just the sound of Tuesday.

    😭

    Then I found out my gynecologist quit to work closer to home.

    Which…

    I completely understand.

    Good for her.

    Terrible for me.

    Because I actually liked her.

    Now I’m apparently being passed between the other four doctors at the practice, and I’m sorry, but the idea of four different gynecologists taking turns looking at my vagina does NOT sit right with me.

    At all.

    By this point, I was at work, stressed, overstimulated, playing phone tag with the doctor’s office—

    and my kiddo had decided that because I was on my phone, obviously he needed to participate.

    Trying to take my phone.

    Putting his ear against mine.

    Trying to listen.

    Trying to talk.

    Sir.

    You are nonverbal.

    This is not FaceTime.

    What are you trying to accomplish here?

    😭😂

    I was DONE.

    And then my boyfriend texted me.

    I opened it.

    And immediately started crying.

    Happy tears this time.

    He bought me two tickets to see The Pretty Reckless.

    MY FAVORITE BAND.

    I had already accepted that I was probably going to miss them because my first paycheck since surgery comes the day after the concert.

    I’d been upset about it all month.

    And on one of the shittiest mornings I’d had in a while, that man bought the tickets.

    My entire fucking day changed.

    I can die happy now.

    Well.

    After the concert.

    Obviously.

    😂

    And if I don’t?

    That man might be getting an engagement ring for Christmas because apparently I have decided I’m marrying him ASAP.

    The rest of Tuesday?

    Completely different day.

    My kiddo was on his best behavior.

    No more drama at work.

    I gave him a free day, and we had fun.

    My sister’s best friend picked me up.

    I went home.

    Showered.

    Picked out my outfit for Breaking Benjamin AND my outfit for The Pretty Reckless.

    And then Sissy called me.

    We stayed on the phone for an hour and a half.

    We barely talked.

    Every once in a while, one of us would say:

    “I love you.”

    And then we’d go right back to whatever we were doing.

    😂

    She’s four.

    Apparently we have already reached the stage of our relationship where neither of us needs to actually contribute anything to the phone call.

    We just need to know the other one is still there.

    And honestly?

    I kind of love that.

    My boyfriend eventually got home, and we spent the next hour and a half underneath my car trying to pull the muffler up enough for me to drive.

    I had to take a second shower because I was covered in dirt.

    By 9:40, I was finally ready to eat dinner and take my ass to bed.

    For a crappy-ass morning?

    It ended pretty nicely.


    📷 Through My Lens

    Wednesday morning began with one of the most horrifying situations I have ever found myself in.

    You are not ready for this story.

    I slept naked Tuesday night.

    And when I say naked, I mean—

    booty-ass fucking naked.

    We did the deed.

    I rolled over.

    Passed the fuck out.

    Fantastic ending to the night.

    Then my alarm went off Wednesday morning.

    I snoozed it.

    And slowly…

    my stomach started rumbling.

    Not hunger.

    No.

    This was a goblin.

    Something inside of me was trying to escape.

    I tried to get out of bed.

    I COULDN’T.

    My belly ring was attached to the bed.

    I’m lying on my stomach.

    Ass in the air.

    Completely naked.

    A gastrointestinal demon is rapidly approaching the exit.

    And I am physically tethered to my fucking bed by my belly button.

    😭😭😭

    I’m squeezing muscles I didn’t know I had.

    Fighting the bed.

    Trying to determine whether ripping my belly ring out would be preferable to what was about to happen.

    And finally—

    THE BED RELEASED ME.

    I ran to the bathroom naked.

    Sat down.

    And…

    shit started flying.

    Actual shit.

    From my asshole.

    It wasn’t a goblin.

    It was diarrhea.

    😩

    My stomach hurt.

    I was nauseous.

    I was sweating.

    I didn’t know which end was going to betray me next.

    I sat on that toilet for about an hour.

    I never puked.

    But I was prepared for war.

    And somewhere in the middle of all of this, I had another horrifying realization.

    Imagine if that bed hadn’t let me go.

    Imagine being stuck by my belly ring while I shit all over myself.

    The blankets.

    The bed.

    MY SLEEPING BOYFRIEND.

    No.

    Absolutely not.

    There is no recovering from that.

    I would have had to break up with him.

    Move.

    Change my name.

    Start an entirely new life.

    😭☠️

    I called my mom—

    YES, I KNOW.

    —and asked if she had Pepto.

    She didn’t.

    Thankfully my boyfriend was off work, so once he woke up, he went to CVS and got me some.

    I chugged it in the car.

    And then I found out my niece and both nephews had the exact same stomach symptoms.

    Cool.

    So apparently the tummy goblin was contagious.

    I called off work.

    And yes.

    I still went to the Breaking Benjamin concert that night.

    I had disposable period underwear.

    That’s basically a diaper.

    We were going to be fine.

    🤣

    By the time we left, my stomach was still upset but nowhere near as bad.

    We went to Texas Roadhouse.

    I ate very little.

    And realized I had forgotten the Pepto at home.

    Good thing I had my diaper.

    ☠️😂

    And then?

    The concert was SO GOOD.

    Kami Kehoe was better than I expected.

    Starset?

    WOW.

    They put on such a good show. They kept my attention on that stage the entire time.

    Chevelle was basically a giant blast of childhood memories I didn’t know I needed.

    And, of course—

    Breaking Benjamin.

    Worth risking the tummy goblin.

    😂

    Getting home was considerably less fun.

    It took almost half an hour just to get out of the venue.

    We got rerouted.

    Drove in circles.

    And at one point my boyfriend turned into the wrong lane while another car was coming toward us.

    It barely missed us.

    That part was terrifying.

    Once we finally got onto the interstate, I could relax.

    Apparently I relaxed a little too much because I fell asleep before we got home.


    Thursday was considerably quieter.

    Thank fuck.

    My stomach still hurt, but it was more of a leftover hurt.

    No goblin.

    We spent the morning cuddled up in the living room, my boyfriend in the recliner and me on the couch, watching CaRtOoNz on YouTube.

    I stayed on that couch basically all day.

    Worked on my blog.

    Started researching my next History After Dark topic.

    Got a slight headache and tried lying down in the dark.

    Then my sister called.

    And somehow I discovered that I apparently live in an alternate universe.

    I told her:

    “I asked my boyfriend if he would take me to see Practical Magic 2, and do you know what he said?”

    “No?”

    “Nope.”

    “What’s that?”

    …

    WHAT’S THAT!?

    Practical Magic!

    🎶 You put the lime in the coconut… 🎶

    MIDNIGHT MARGARITAS!?

    NONE OF THIS!?

    She tells me she knows the song from Daddy Daycare.

    I add my best friend to the call.

    SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT PRACTICAL MAGIC IS EITHER.

    She adds one of her friends.

    HE DOESN’T KNOW.

    I add my sister’s best friend.

    Surely SHE knows.

    The movie came out in 1998.

    She’s older than me.

    SHE DIDN’T KNOW EITHER.

    WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!?

    Is this a glitch in the Matrix?

    Did I accidentally cross into another timeline?

    Am I the only person left who remembers midnight margaritas!?

    I have never felt so alone.

    😭😂


    ❤️ This Week’s Gratitude

    There were a lot of little things this week.

    People giving me rides when my car decided it no longer required a muffler.

    A friend letting me vent until I could laugh again.

    My boyfriend buying me concert tickets because he knew how badly I wanted to go.

    But one of my favorite little things happened Friday.

    I was roughhousing with my kiddo while we waited for his bus, and he turned just right and broke one of my nails basically in half.

    Now.

    I have really long nails.

    They are ALWAYS done.

    So when I say I broke it in half, I still technically had a fingernail.

    To some people?

    Normal nail.

    To me?

    THERE WAS NO NAIL.

    😭

    It was basically a nub.

    My finger hurt, and I’m getting a whole new set next week anyway, so I went to my nail tech and just had her cut it down.

    Later, I went to my sister’s house.

    Sissy saw my finger.

    She asked what happened.

    I told her.

    And that little girl decided she was going to fix it.

    She colored the nail green to match the rest.

    Then she looked at it and apparently decided:

    No.

    Too boring.

    So she added a little pink paw print.

    🥹

    And I know that sounds like such a tiny thing.

    But my nails are always done.

    They’re never just plain.

    And she noticed.

    She wanted it to match.

    Then she wanted to give it a little extra something because she knows NeeNee’s nails aren’t boring.

    She’s four.

    And she noticed.

    I love that kid.


    😂 This Week’s “Well…That Happened.”

    Oh, I have options.

    SO MANY OPTIONS.

    Friday morning, my kiddo came into work and immediately chose chaos.

    Looked at the teacher.

    Started throwing things.

    Tantrum.

    Cool.

    It’s going to be one of those days.

    Turns out?

    He was tired.

    Of course he was.

    Later, I was playing Monopoly Go on my phone.

    Yes, I was at work.

    No, I’m not supposed to be on my phone.

    It was Fun Friday, my kiddo was running around the classroom, and I knew exactly where he was and what he was doing.

    Don’t worry about me.

    😂

    He came over and touched my phone.

    “No.”

    He walked away.

    Got his speaking device.

    Came back.

    Pressed:

    “I play.”

    And looked at me.

    At first I told him, “Yes, you can go play.”

    Then I looked at him.

    He looked at me.

    …

    OH.

    You want to play MY game.

    😂

    “Okay. Come here.”

    He climbed into my lap, and we played Monopoly Go together.

    “One finger. Press here.”

    Good job.

    “Now we wait.”

    Good.

    “One finger. Press this one.”

    Good job, buddy.

    You’re doing it.

    🥹


    After work, I called my sister to see if the boys still wanted to stay the night.

    She said yes, but Pooh Boy wouldn’t be home until around 6:30, so she asked if I wanted to wait and pick them both up together.

    Fine by me.

    Then I hear Doodoo in the background:

    “NOOOOO!”

    No?

    “NOW!”

    Now?

    “Yeah!”

    Okay.

    Say less. I’m on my way.

    🤣

    I get there.

    I’m barely through the door.

    This boy comes running at me with his shoes.

    I put them on.

    He climbs up my leg.

    Looks at his mother.

    “Bye!”

    Waves.

    Blows her a kiss.

    ☠️😂

    We stayed a little longer so I could love on Sissy after she finished painting her dad’s nails.

    Then Doodoo, Mawmaw Nesi, and I went outside.

    I looked down for approximately two seconds to text my sister.

    Looked back up.

    There was RED STUFF ALL OVER DOODOO’S LEG.

    Internally:

    OH MY GOD. BLOOD.

    How are you bleeding!?

    Where are you bleeding!?

    Why is there so much!?

    I’m investigating while trying to stay calm.

    Then I notice some hanging out of his mouth around his binky.

    …

    “Doodoo, did you puke?”

    “Puke.”

    Oh.

    Cool.

    He had been drinking red juice.

    So my nephew had apparently just spontaneously vomited all over himself outside.

    That’s enough outdoor time for today.

    Bath.

    Immediately.

    😭

    Later, Pooh Boy got home.

    I checked my boyfriend’s location.

    Work.

    I asked if he could grab Pooh Boy on the way home.

    Yep.

    My sister asked how far away he was.

    I checked.

    “Twenty-five minutes.”

    She sits down on the couch.

    “Cool. I can sit for a minute.”

    KNOCK KNOCK.

    She considers not answering because she JUST sat down and isn’t expecting anyone yet.

    Maybe Pooh Boy’s grandma forgot something.

    She answers.

    Looks back at me through the phone.

    “How long before Uncle gets here?”

    “Twenty-five minutes. I just checked.”

    She turns the phone toward the door.

    “Uncle is here now.”

    …

    WHAT!?

    🤣🤣🤣

    Apparently I didn’t give Maps enough time to update his actual location.

    My bad.


    That night I went to put Pooh Boy’s pajamas on him.

    First problem:

    His entire butt cheek was hanging out of his diaper.

    How?

    Apparently his grandma had changed him before bringing him home.

    This is also the woman who once put his diaper on BACKWARDS, so…

    There’s that.

    😂

    Second problem:

    The pajamas he wore at my house LAST WEEKEND no longer fit.

    His belly was hanging out.

    The pants didn’t cover his legs.

    BRO.

    You did NOT get that big in a week.

    My sister just laughed and said she’d send more pajamas for my house next weekend.

    They were both asleep by eight.

    We LOVE an easy bedtime.

    Then around two in the morning:

    DONK.

    Followed immediately by Pooh Boy screaming bloody murder.

    I flew out of bed.

    Checked his head.

    No blood.

    No bumps.

    No obvious injury.

    Apparently he had managed to headbutt the wall.

    I cuddled him.

    Calmed him down.

    Put him back to bed.

    Crisis over.

    For that night.

    Because Saturday night?

    Saturday night that child declared war on sleep.

    He didn’t go down easily to begin with.

    He was yelling and playing until ten.

    Then at ONE IN THE MORNING, he woke up.

    And from one until after four, it was:

    Up.

    Down.

    Spin.

    Spin.

    Spin.

    Yell.

    Giggle.

    Throw things.

    Smack the bed.

    Run around the pack-n-play.

    Headbutt the wall.

    Scream.

    Giggle some more.

    Climb underneath the pillows.

    Climb underneath the blankets.

    Climb underneath the MAT in the pack-n-play.

    Reach over and try to pull the blanket off of us.

    FROM ONE UNTIL AFTER FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING.

    I finally started dozing around four because he had managed to stay quiet for longer than three minutes.

    I could still hear him moving.

    Still giggling.

    I have no idea what time he actually went back to sleep.

    Do you know what time he woke up?

    EIGHT.

    WHY!?

    😩😩😩


    Meanwhile, Doodoo had been super clingy Saturday.

    He’d puked Friday.

    He slept for hours Saturday morning.

    And the rest of the day, he basically wanted to become part of my body.

    Arms around me.

    Legs around me.

    Holding on for dear life.

    If I put him down?

    Throw himself backward.

    Stomp.

    Run straight back at me.

    Cling again.

    Cry.

    Okay.

    Okay.

    Come here.

    🥲

    So we spent most of Saturday cuddled in the recliner watching Jurassic World.

    My best friend who moved out of state was also back for the weekend because she finally got an apartment and came with a U-Haul to get the rest of her things.

    Naturally, being the wonderful best friend she is, she came to visit me.

    Well…

    “Visit me” might be generous.

    🤣

    She’s gained a little weight, so we spent approximately an hour playing dress-up in my dresses.

    She LOVES my dresses, but most of them have always been too big on her.

    Because I have huge-ass boobs.

    And hers are basically nonexistent.

    Yes, I know you read these posts. Hi. Love you. 🤣

    But now she can fit some of them, so she finally got to try on a bunch she’s been wanting to wear.

    And every single time she came out in another dress, Doodoo was sitting there going:

    “BlahBlah! That’s pretty!”

    😭😂

    Maybe this is where it starts.

    Women spend their childhoods watching other women try on dresses while everyone around them goes:

    “Ooooooh! That’s so pretty!”

    Then adulthood arrives and we’re fully trained.

    Friend comes out of dressing room.

    Automatic response:

    “THAT’S SO PRETTY.”

    Doodoo is simply getting an early education.


    Sunday morning, after approximately seventeen minutes of sleep—

    Okay.

    Slight exaggeration.

    But that’s what it felt like.

    I got up with Pooh Boy and went to the bathroom.

    I had to poop.

    He decided I was not allowed to do that alone.

    Fine.

    Whatever.

    At least I was the only one awake.

    While I’m sitting there, I hear the bed moving.

    Then little feet running across the floor.

    Bedroom door opens.

    More little feet.

    I open the bathroom door.

    Doodoo comes running in.

    Stops.

    Smiles.

    “Hi!”

    “Were you a big boy?”

    “Yeah!”

    “Did you wake up, get off the bed, and come find me all by yourself?”

    “Yeah!”

    He spends the rest of my bathroom trip hugging and lying on my leg.

    Awh.

    My big boy.

    🥹

    We come out.

    Uncle is sitting in the recliner.

    “Uncle! Doodoo said he was a big boy and did all of that by himself this morning!”

    My boyfriend looks at me.

    “That little motherfucker lied!”

    ☠️☠️☠️

    Apparently Doodoo had woken him up by karate chopping him in the throat and yelling:

    “UNCLE!”

    Then:

    “UP!”

    My boyfriend got him out of bed.

    So the only thing this child actually accomplished independently that morning was assaulting his uncle.

    🤣🤣🤣

    Sir.

    Why did you lie directly to my face?


    Later, I took Doodoo home.

    Sissy was having a VERY difficult time listening to her mom.

    Like…

    at all.

    So I talked to her about listening and told her that if she couldn’t listen to her mom, I was taking all of the princess stuff she got that day home with me.

    She could earn it back.

    She apologized to her mom.

    And then immediately went back to not listening.

    🫠

    Okay.

    “Get your shoes on. You’re going home with me.”

    TEARS.

    Suddenly we remembered how listening works.

    😂

    She apologized again.

    I gave her one more chance.

    She was still listening when I left, so she didn’t have to come home with me.

    Princess privileges maintained.


    I finally got home.

    And my boyfriend was sitting in the middle of the living room floor surrounded by all of our clothes.

    Great.

    Laundry.

    I was going to shower first.

    Apparently not.

    😂

    We finished the laundry.

    I showered.

    He went to play PalWorld with his best friend.

    And I went into the bedroom.

    Then I sent him a text:

    “I know you’re gaming, but do you want to come see if I participated in No Shave September? lol”

    Y’all.

    That man came running into that bedroom so fucking fast.

    🤣🤣🤣

    I knew exactly what I was doing.

    🥵


    And now it’s Sunday evening.

    The kids are home.

    The laundry is done.

    I’m showered.

    My boyfriend is playing PalWorld with his friend.

    And I’m on the couch.

    Not moving.

    Not answering any summons.

    Not fixing anything.

    Not crawling underneath a car.

    And hopefully not being attacked by any more stomach goblins.

    😂

    I’m tired.

    Very tired.

    But it was a good week.

    Not an easy one.

    Definitely not a quiet one.

    But a good one.

    There were concerts and cuddles and dinosaurs and people who showed up when I needed them.

    There were also bodily fluids, broken car parts, a broken nail, approximately three hours of sleep, and a shocking number of incidents involving somebody’s throat.

    Balance.

    😂

    And right now?

    The couch is comfortable.

    Everybody is where they’re supposed to be.

    I have nowhere else I need to go.

    I’ll take it.

    Until next time,
    —Destiny

    P.S. What was the most completely unhinged thing that happened in your week? Because I feel like I’ve set the bar pretty high this time. 😂

  • 📷 Learning to Look Closer #10

    I think one of my favorite things about doing this series is realizing that I don’t actually have to go looking for something worth photographing.

    Most of the time, it’s already there.

    I just have to notice it.

    And apparently this week, the things that made me stop ranged from a tiny gothic sticker on a gas pump to Batman secretly being an alarm clock.

    So.

    You know.

    A very normal assortment of things. 😂


    A Tiny Gas-Pump Stranger

    I stopped for gas this week and noticed this little lady hanging out on the pump.

    That’s it.

    That’s the entire story. 😂

    I have absolutely no idea who put her there.

    I don’t know how long she’s been there.

    But there was something about this tiny, gothic, horned woman sitting directly above a giant WARNING sign that made me stop for a second.

    Someone had this sticker.

    Someone decided this gas pump was where she belonged.

    And now everybody who stops there gets a tiny piece of that stranger’s personality without ever knowing who they were.

    I kinda love that.


    Lunch, According to Tiny Humans

    This one is not pretty.

    There is absolutely no artistic arrangement happening here. 😂

    But this is what happens when you let a four-year-old and two one-year-olds have opinions about lunch.

    Reese’s-filled pretzels.

    Mandarin oranges—or, judging by the crime scene, what used to be mandarin oranges.

    And whatever else apparently made sense at the time.

    There are peels everywhere.

    Containers everywhere.

    Wipes in the background.

    Random cups.

    Absolute chaos.

    And I almost wouldn’t have thought to take a picture of it because it’s just a messy table.

    Except…

    it’s also one of those pictures I think I’ll like more later than I do right now.

    Because someday there won’t be tiny people making absolute disasters out of lunch.

    And this?

    This is what life looked like while there were.

    Messy counts, too.


    The Sky Was Showing Off

    And then there was this morning.

    Nothing particularly interesting was happening underneath that sky.

    Buildings.

    A fence.

    A basketball hoop.

    Trees.

    Just ordinary things I see all the time.

    But above all of it?

    That.

    Pink.

    Orange.

    Purple.

    One of those sunrises that makes you stop whatever you’re doing for a second because apparently the sky has decided to be dramatic before you’ve even fully started your day.

    And I’m glad I noticed.

    Because a few minutes later, it was gone.


    Wait…That’s a Clock?

    And finally:

    Batman.

    One of my kiddos brought this into class today, and at first I didn’t think anything of it.

    It was LEGO Batman.

    Cool.

    Then I looked again.

    Wait.

    Is Batman telling me what time it is?

    😂

    Apparently, yes.

    It was an alarm clock.

    I had looked directly at the giant digital numbers in his stomach and somehow my brain had decided those were simply none of my business.

    And weirdly enough, I think Batman might sum up this entire series better than anything else I photographed this week.

    Because Learning to Look Closer doesn’t always mean finding something beautiful.

    Sometimes it does.

    Sometimes you look up and catch a sunrise before it disappears.

    But sometimes it means noticing a tiny sticker somebody left behind.

    Sometimes it means realizing that the messy table in front of you is evidence of a very specific season of your life.

    And sometimes…

    it means looking at LEGO Batman twice before realizing the man has been telling you the time this entire time.

    😂

    There are things worth noticing everywhere.

    Beautiful things.

    Funny things.

    Messy things.

    Completely pointless little things that make you smile for half a second.

    You just have to actually look at them.

    Until next time,

    —Destiny

    P.S. What’s something you’ve looked directly at before realizing what you were actually looking at? 😂

  • Sunday Things #9

    This week felt like my body and my life were operating on two completely different schedules.

    My body wanted heating pads, pain patches, hot baths, a recliner, and for everybody to leave me the hell alone.

    My life said:

    Cool. Anyway, you’re going back to work. The kids miss you. Your sister needs help. There are dinosaurs to watch. Somebody is going to walk UP a slide. And apparently you’re going to end the week at a spontaneous photoshoot.

    😅

    I started the week on my period, which is exhausting enough on its own, but now that I know I have both a fibroid and endometriosis, I’ve been doing what any curious person with access to Google does:

    Looking up all the weird shit my body does and going,

    Ohhhhh. So THAT’S why.

    😂

    The lower back pain.

    The constant urge to pee.

    The horrible cramping when I poop.

    The extra bleeding when I do.

    Apparently, my body has explanations for things I’ve just been suffering through for years.

    And listen—

    period poops are already the WORST.

    I do not need two separate medical conditions working together to make them worse. 😮‍💨

    Sunday was actually surprisingly good for day two of my period. I barely hurt all day, and I had even slept through the entire night before—which is WILD for me because I’m normally up and down for the first two or three nights because I’m hurting so badly.

    Then I pooped.

    And apparently that was enough to ruin everybody’s good time.

    😂

    By 4:30 Monday morning, I was hurting badly enough that I ended up taking an hour-long nap on the toilet so I could free bleed.

    Obviously.

    Nobody ever talks about how much passing period clots can fucking hurt, either.

    This period was super clotty, and whether that had anything to do with recently having surgery or not, I have no idea.

    I just know:

    boy, I was in pain.

    I finally fell back asleep around 7 and slept until 11:30.

    Thankfully, my sister had asked Mom to watch the kids that day because I really just could not.

    I remembered that the hysterectomy belt my boyfriend’s mom gave me had heating/cooling pads in it, popped those bad boys in the microwave for thirty seconds on each side, and discovered that I basically own a portable heating pad.

    Guess who’s taking that bitch to work?

    🤷🏻‍♀️😂

    Tuesday morning?

    4 AM.

    Again.

    More pain.

    More soaking in the bathtub.

    And eventually a PTO day because there was absolutely no way I was going back to work like that.

    At one point, I was so over the pain that I genuinely thought about asking my boyfriend if he would be okay with adopting because I just—

    cannot keep doing this.

    I’m ready for them to get this stuff taken care of.

    My periods are exhausting.

    Physically.

    Emotionally.

    All of it.

    But somewhere between all the heating pads, pain patches, baths, and me refusing to leave the recliner unless absolutely necessary…

    the rest of my life kept happening anyway.

    And somehow, by the end of the week, there was a whole lot of good mixed in with the hurting.


    ☕ This Week’s Comfort

    This one is easy.

    My heating pad.

    😮‍💨

    That thing and I have been in a committed relationship all week.

    Monday, it was the heating pads from the hysterectomy belt.

    Tuesday, I basically lived in the recliner with my heating pad and only got up when I absolutely needed to.

    And then Doodoo showed up.

    He was asleep when Mom brought him over, and when he came inside, he looked at me, climbed into my lap, and immediately went right back to sleep.

    I sat him on my stomach.

    And somehow?

    His weight actually helped.

    So I leaned the recliner back with this sleeping baby sprawled across me and got maybe thirty or forty-five minutes where I wasn’t hurting much at all.

    I was almost asleep myself before the other two came inside.

    😂

    Apparently Doodoo is also a heating pad.

    A significantly heavier one.

    With legs.

    And opinions.

    But I’ll take what I can get.


    📷 Through My Lens

    I think my favorite part of this week happened today.

    I took Doodoo home early, came back, cleaned the living room, got myself ready, and headed to my friend’s house.

    And then we just drove around and took pictures.

    No real plan.

    Just a spontaneous photoshoot.

    She took me to 420 Road, which is apparently basically a mile of road where people go to spray paint.

    I had never been there before today.

    Then we went to take pictures with planes coming in.

    😂

    And it was actually really fucking fun.

    After spending the beginning of the week barely wanting to leave my recliner, ending it out driving around, finding weird places, and taking pictures felt good.

    I love photography.

    I love finding interesting things to photograph.

    And apparently I also love standing around waiting for airplanes to fly over me.

    Who knew?

    😂


    💭 A Thought I’ve Been Carrying

    I don’t think you always realize how much you’re part of somebody else’s routine until you disappear from it for a while.

    Wednesday was finally my first day back at work.

    And all morning I heard:

    “Welcome back.”

    “Where have you been?”

    “I thought you weren’t working here anymore.”

    “Are you okay now?”

    “What happened?”

    “You’ve been missed.”

    I didn’t tell everybody where I was going before I left.

    Honestly, I only really talk to maybe five people there anyway. The people who mattered knew I had surgery and knew I was going to be gone for a month.

    I wasn’t about to make some giant announcement or walk around campus telling everybody individually.

    😂

    But apparently people noticed.

    And then I got on my kiddo’s bus.

    He stood up.

    Looked at me.

    Looked at the bus monitor.

    Looked back at me.

    And just—

    smiled.

    This huge smile.

    🤣

    He genuinely looked flabbergasted for a second.

    Like his brain needed a minute to process:

    Wait.

    She’s back?!

    Then he finally remembered he was supposed to grab his bag and get off the bus.

    He spent the rest of the day running back over to me for hugs and back scratches.

    Although I’m pretty sure he missed my nails more than he actually missed me.

    😂

    And apparently he wasn’t the only one.

    Wednesday evening, Sissy and Doodoo called wanting apples.

    So obviously I grabbed my last three apples, a Fudge Round, and a Nutty Bar and went over there.

    We played.

    Had a little dance party.

    Snuggled.

    And at one point I had a kid on each hip while another one tried climbing up my leg, slipped on my pajama pants, and pulled my pants down with him.

    ☠️🤣

    My sister had to pull them back up for me.

    When I left, Pooh Boy threw a tantrum because he wanted to stay the night.

    Then Thursday morning my sister told me he’d been up crying because he wanted to stay with me.

    😭

    And Thursday night, after Doodoo and Pooh Boy spent the evening at my house, Mom took them home.

    I was still on the phone with my sister when they pulled up, and Doodoo was crying.

    He had been perfectly fine when he left my house, so I asked what happened.

    My sister opened his door.

    And there he was, crying:

    “Blah Blah!”

    🥲

    Baby.

    I told him I had to work the next day, but I could come get him afterward and he could stay with me all weekend.

    He stopped crying and said okay.

    My babies.

    😭

    It breaks my whole soul when they cry because they want to stay with me and I can’t keep them.

    But between them and my kiddo at work this week, I realized something:

    being missed is a really strange kind of love.

    You aren’t there to see the moment somebody notices you’re gone.

    You just come back and find the space they were holding for you.


    ❤️ This Week’s Gratitude

    This week, I’m grateful that I got to come back.

    Back to work.

    Back to my kiddo.

    Back to some kind of normal routine.

    Even if my body isn’t completely caught up yet.

    Wednesday made that VERY clear.

    My hips and sides were killing me. I only made it two laps around the track before I needed to sit down.

    I don’t know how much of it was from being off my feet for so long, how much was from surgery and still healing, or how much my period was contributing.

    But my body definitely needs some time to get used to being back.

    Thursday, my lower back was in knots badly enough that Mom had to bring me a pain patch at work.

    I didn’t transition my kiddo nearly as much as I probably should have because I was hurting, and he was not thrilled about that.

    Which I understand.

    His routine changed because I couldn’t do what I normally do.

    And meanwhile, Wednesday he had thrown his only tantrum of the day because I told him to take a break from working and go play.

    🤣

    Apparently I returned to a tiny workaholic.

    But despite the pain and despite realizing that getting back to normal might take a little longer than I wanted—

    I got to go back.

    And overall?

    My first day back was really good.

    I’m grateful for that.


    😂 This Week’s “Well…That Happened.”

    I had options this week.

    So many options.

    Doodoo had a pull-up situation that very much justified why we call him Doodoo, while repeatedly announcing:

    “I SHIT!”

    Yes, sir.

    Yes, you did.

    And you stink.

    🤣

    Then there was Doodoo trying to manipulate Mawmaw Nesi into letting him go back outside after I already told him no.

    Me: “You trying to get Mawmaw in trouble?”

    Doodoo:

    “Yeah!”

    At least he’s honest.

    😂

    There was Pooh Boy climbing out of the bathtub by himself.

    There was my vacuum still sounding like a motorcycle until I finally got down on the floor and changed the brush.

    There was my sister dropping her vape into the bathtub.

    There was the return of the Medusa doorbell—which, apparently, I have now learned to weaponize against children.

    “Line up or I’ll push the button!”

    Everybody lined up.

    Somebody started crying in the car?

    I held up Medusa.

    Silence.

    ☠️🤣

    Last week that damn thing scared the absolute shit out of me.

    This week?

    I’m considering buying one.

    Character development.

    🤣

    But none of those win.

    Because Pooh Boy—

    my sweet little Pooh Boy—

    has apparently decided that walking normally is beneath him.

    Thursday, he was outside playing with the Frozen ride-on toy. Mawmaw Nesi had tied a rope around it because the boys can’t figure out how to scoot that particular one across the grass.

    Pooh Boy somehow got the rope wrapped around both arms and one leg.

    He wasn’t hurt.

    He wasn’t in danger.

    He was just tired, frustrated, and apparently convinced that the appropriate response was to roll around in the grass screaming.

    I kept telling him:

    “Pooh Boy, come here and I’ll help you.”

    He’d look at me.

    Reach toward me.

    Cry.

    And then—

    GO BACK TO ROLLING AROUND.

    ☠️

    Eventually, he got unstuck and went back to playing.

    Cool.

    Crisis over.

    I looked down at my phone for approximately two seconds to read a text from my sister.

    I looked back up.

    Mawmaw Nesi was running toward the slide.

    And Pooh Boy was standing—

    STANDING—

    at the top of it.

    Laughing his little ass off.

    He didn’t climb the ladder.

    Mawmaw Nesi watched him.

    HE WALKED STRAIGHT UP THE SLIDE.

    All the way.

    Without falling.

    Sir.

    You cannot take TWO STEPS across solid ground without randomly falling over.

    But you can apparently scale playground equipment like a fucking mountain goat?!

    IN TWO SECONDS?!

    ☠️☠️☠️

    I don’t understand him.

    I have stopped trying.


    And now it’s Sunday night.

    The boys stayed with us this weekend.

    There were a LOT of dinosaurs.

    Doodoo and I watched every Jurassic Park/Jurassic World movie Hulu had on Saturday because that baby loves his dinosaurs. 😂

    My sister touched up my hair.

    The boys got to stay up a little late.

    We all slept until nine this morning.

    Doodoo and I got one more dinosaur cuddle in before I took him home.

    Then I spent the afternoon with my friend taking pictures.

    And naturally, as soon as I got home, my sister called because she needed me to take her to get a new vape after dropping hers in the bathtub.

    😂

    She did get me one of those real-fruit TikTok ice creams, though.

    The mango one.

    And omggggg.

    DELICIOUS.

    Unfortunately, cold things trigger my asthma, so now I’m fighting an asthma attack because apparently even eating ice cream has to come with consequences.

    ☠️

    Stupid body.

    Stupid cold things.

    Stupid asthma.

    And now it’s after seven.

    Dinner still needs to be cooked.

    I’m exhausted.

    And I have work tomorrow.

    But compared with how this week started?

    I’ll take it.

    I started the week curled up in pain, wondering how much longer I can keep doing this.

    I’m ending it with freshly touched-up hair, a camera full of pictures, a weekend full of dinosaurs and babies, and the knowledge that apparently Medusa can control an entire group of children faster than any adult in this family.

    😂

    Not a bad ending.

    Now somebody please cook dinner for me.

    Until next time,

    —Destiny

    P.S. What’s one completely ordinary thing from your week that ended up meaning more to you than you expected?

  • Sunday Things #8

    Last Sunday, I ended Sunday Things by asking for one very simple thing:

    Significantly fewer bodily fluids.

    And eggs.

    Specifically—

    no more fucking eggs.

    😂

    I am pleased to report that nobody vomited eggs on my phone this week.

    So.

    Technically?

    The universe listened.

    Barely.

    Because there was still poop.

    There was pee.

    There were period cramps from the depths of hell.

    There was a four-year-old licking sprinkles directly off my kitchen counter.

    There was one toddler practically living inside my personal space.

    Another toddler choosing violence.

    A vacuum that somehow began sounding like a motorcycle.

    A Medusa doorbell that nearly killed me.

    A $115 grocery trip for macaroni and cheese—

    in which I did not buy macaroni and cheese.

    And somewhere in the middle of all that, I apparently opened the daycare again.

    😂

    The weird part?

    Monday and Tuesday started suspiciously well.

    Like—

    too well.

    All three kids behaved.

    Doodoo didn’t cry when my sister left.

    Pooh Boy listened.

    Sissy shared.

    Everybody ate breakfast without attempting to overthrow the government.

    There was one hitting incident, but Doodoo sat in timeout, eventually signed sorry, gave Pooh Boy a hug, climbed into my lap—

    and promptly took a nap.

    Apparently accountability is exhausting when you’re one.

    😂

    Tuesday was basically the same.

    Sissy punched Doodoo because his leg was interfering with her Twist and Twirl.

    Naturally.

    But after a quick conversation, she hugged him and apologized.

    Then Pooh Boy wanted a hug.

    Then Doodoo wanted another hug.

    And somehow discipline turned into a full-blown group hug.

    I was sitting there thinking:

    Who are these children?

    And what have you done with the tiny feral people I usually babysit?

    I should have known better than to ask.

    Because Wednesday arrived.

    And Sissy had apparently been awake since 3 A.M.

    Ah.

    There they are.

    😂

    Wednesday morning included her standing in a completely dark bathroom waiting for me to turn the light on despite the fact that she has a push-light specifically because she cannot reach the switch.

    A light she uses regularly.

    A light she knows how to use.

    A light she was apparently pretending had never existed before in her life.

    Then came breakfast.

    She ate a few baby pancakes.

    Declared herself full.

    Gave the rest to Pooh Boy.

    Pooh Boy took approximately one bite.

    Sissy looked directly at me and said:

    “I’m hungry.”

    Ma’am.

    😭

    I offered waffles.

    No.

    Smoked sausage?

    No.

    “What do you want?”

    “Chips.”

    It was eight o’clock in the morning.

    Absolutely fucking not.

    So she stopped speaking to me.

    Until, several minutes later, she suddenly yelled:

    “I DID answer you! I said I want baby waffles!”

    Girl.

    No, you did not.

    😂

    We eventually made the waffles.

    Everybody ate.

    Everybody survived.

    And I discovered the greatest childcare innovation of my adult life:

    Clay in the kitchen.

    Put Sissy in the kitchen.

    Give her some clay.

    Set the toy piano up as a tiny table.

    And suddenly?

    Peace.

    She loves it.

    I love it.

    The boys get to nap.

    Nobody needs to speak to anybody.

    Honestly, I should patent this.


    ☕ This Week’s Comfort

    My recliner.

    Specifically—

    five quiet minutes in my recliner.

    Monday, after the kids left, I cleaned up the toys and sat down before dealing with the laundry.

    Just five minutes.

    No one climbing on me.

    No one asking for snacks.

    No one yelling:

    “NEENEE!”

    No one licking me.

    Yes.

    That happened later in the week.

    Apparently personal boundaries mean nothing when you are beloved by toddlers.

    😂

    I just sat there rocking.

    Listening to the little click of the recliner.

    And instead of changing the television after the kids left—

    I continued watching Cookie Monster’s Foodie Truck.

    By myself.

    Like a grown woman.

    ☠️

    It was 11:30 in the morning.

    And those five minutes were wonderful.

    Later in the week, the recliner became something else.

    Saturday, after spending basically the entire day dismantling, transporting, rebuilding, and installing a giant swing set while simultaneously starting my period—

    ON TIME.

    Let me repeat that.

    ON. FUCKING. TIME.

    Who even does that!?

    My period is never on time.

    Apparently she decided this month was the month to become punctual.

    While I was doing manual labor.

    Love that for me.

    🥲

    By that evening, my lower back hurt all the way down through my knees.

    A hot shower didn’t help.

    Pain medicine barely helped.

    I was crying.

    My sister came over, saw me, immediately knew what was wrong, and when I asked my boyfriend to hand me Sissy’s car seat so I could take it outside, she basically said:

    Absolutely not.

    She took both car seats.

    Carried them outside.

    Put them back in my car.

    And would not let me lift a finger.

    Doodoo wanted to stay the night again.

    And for once, I had to tell him no.

    Not because I didn’t want him.

    Because I hurt.

    And I needed one night where I wasn’t responsible for a baby.

    That sucked.

    But sometimes loving somebody also means knowing when you have absolutely nothing left to give them that night.

    So I made my boyfriend get out of the recliner.

    😂

    Blanket.

    Heating pad.

    Recliner.

    Done.

    And Sunday?

    When the kids finally went home after spending most of the day outside on their brand-new swing set, my boyfriend offered me the recliner before I even asked.

    So apparently this week’s comfort wasn’t just the chair.

    It was the little pocket of quiet I kept trying to find inside it.

    Sometimes five minutes.

    Sometimes an entire evening.

    But enough to hear myself think again.


    📸 Through My Lens

    If I could keep one photograph from this week, it would probably be the kids outside today.

    Because yesterday?

    That backyard looked like a construction site.

    😂

    We found a huge swing set online.

    Slide.

    Five different swings.

    The whole thing normally costs somewhere around $677.

    I paid:

    $25.

    TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS.

    And the woman threw in a little playhouse and a bouncy horse.

    Listen.

    I don’t know what kind of financial blessing descended upon me Saturday morning, but I was not asking questions.

    Load it up.

    😂

    Of course, getting it home was an entirely different story.

    Three trips.

    Another trip because we brought the wrong tools.

    Taking the thing apart.

    Loading it.

    Unloading it.

    Putting it back together.

    Cleaning the playhouse.

    My boyfriend.

    Mawmaw Nesi.

    Me.

    And, apparently, my uterus actively trying to escape my body in protest.

    But we got it done.

    And today?

    The kids played on it for hours.

    They had water bottles.

    I brought the hose out.

    They ran through the water.

    They swung.

    They climbed.

    They went down the slide.

    And somehow, after the absolute war zone that was Friday—

    Sissy and both boys played beautifully together.

    Sissy shared her food.

    They took turns.

    She went down the slide with Doodoo.

    They hugged each other.

    Nobody got dragged across the floor by their hair.

    Which, yes, is a sentence I have to specify after Friday.

    😂

    At one point I just stood there looking at them and thought:

    I should’ve gotten one of these a long time ago.

    There’s something about watching kids play outside until they’re filthy, exhausted, sweaty, wet from the hose, and completely happy.

    Doodoo refused to nap because apparently sleep was less important than the playground.

    He made it approximately one street away after my sister picked him up before passing out in the car.

    😂

    If I could photograph the feeling instead of the actual scene, though?

    It would probably be:

    Wet little clothes.

    Tiny bare feet.

    Kids taking turns.

    Someone laughing.

    Someone asking to go higher.

    A giant swing set we somehow got for twenty-five dollars.

    And three little people who played hard enough that tonight—

    hopefully—

    they sleep like the dead.

    😂


    💭 A Thought I’ve Been Carrying

    I spent a lot of this week asking for two minutes.

    Literally.

    Two.

    Minutes.

    Thursday morning, all three kids were on me at once.

    One tapping me.

    One nuzzling me.

    One licking me.

    Everybody saying:

    “NeeNee.”

    Over.

    And over.

    And over.

    At one point I seriously considered changing my name.

    😂

    Later, I tried to put Pooh Boy down for a nap.

    Sissy wanted to help.

    Sweet.

    Doodoo had his head practically lodged in my ass the entire time.

    Less sweet.

    I sat him in the recliner so I could take approximately two seconds to hand Sissy her clay.

    He acted like I had abandoned him on the side of the interstate.

    Then I finally got him calmed down in my lap.

    And immediately:

    “NeeNee?”

    “Yes, Sissy?”

    “I had an accident.”

    Poop.

    Of course.

    So now I have to put Doodoo down again.

    He’s screaming.

    Pooh Boy sounds like he’s headbutting the bedroom wall.

    I’m cleaning Sissy.

    We come back into the living room.

    Doodoo has somehow unplugged the Fire Stick and is smacking the television because, apparently, he was attempting to repair Jurassic Park.

    The remote has disappeared.

    Sissy’s panties need washed.

    Pooh Boy is still doing whatever demolition project he has started in the bedroom.

    And all I could think was:

    I just need two fucking minutes.

    That thought stuck with me.

    Because I love being needed.

    I really do.

    I love that Doodoo reaches for me.

    I love that Sissy wants to bake cakes with me.

    I love that Pooh Boy climbs all over everything I own and apparently believes gravity is merely a suggestion.

    I love feeding them.

    Bathing them.

    Watching movies with them.

    Taking them outside.

    Letting them destroy my house.

    Buying them a ridiculous swing set.

    I love that Doodoo will go home, spend ten minutes there, see me again, climb into my arms, look at his mother and say:

    “Bye-bye.”

    😂

    But being loved doesn’t magically mean you never get overwhelmed.

    Being needed doesn’t mean you never need space.

    And taking care of people does not mean you are supposed to keep giving until there is absolutely nothing left.

    Saturday reminded me of that.

    I was hurting.

    Really hurting.

    Doodoo wanted to stay.

    Normally?

    I probably would’ve said yes.

    But I couldn’t.

    And I hated telling him no.

    Still—

    I needed to.

    Because sometimes the two minutes you’ve been asking everybody else for eventually have to become:

    Not tonight.

    Sometimes you need somebody else to carry the car seat.

    Sometimes you need the recliner.

    Sometimes you need everybody to please stop touching you.

    Sometimes you need to admit:

    I love you very much, but I have reached my limit for today.

    And maybe that isn’t selfish.

    Maybe that’s just how you make sure there’s something left of you tomorrow.


    ❤️ This Week’s Gratitude

    This week’s gratitude is for the people who step in.

    Not necessarily in huge dramatic ways.

    Just—

    step in.

    My sister taking those car seats from me because she could see I was hurting.

    Mawmaw Nesi helping me fix the vacuum after my mom couldn’t come back.

    Even though the vacuum then sounded like a motorcycle.

    😂

    My mom eventually coming over and helping us figure out that apparently the ancient clump of hair wrapped around the vacuum brush had been performing some kind of structural-support function.

    Yes.

    You read that correctly.

    I cleaned the vacuum—

    and made it worse.

    ☠️

    Apparently the vacuum is so old that the hair was holding one end of the brush together.

    So now we’ve bought it a new brush because my boyfriend refuses to replace the entire vacuum.

    Fine.

    We are apparently restoring a historical artifact.

    😂

    I’m grateful for my boyfriend coming home exhausted from work and still helping wherever he could.

    And for getting to return that care a little too.

    One night he came home filthy from tires, burned fingers, completely worn out, and said he needed a shower but didn’t even have the energy for one.

    So—

    princess treatment.

    Bubble bath.

    I washed him.

    The man basically had to do nothing except occasionally raise an arm.

    😂

    And somehow, in the same week, he made something completely new for dinner.

    Chicken sliders.

    Not one of his safe foods.

    NEW FOOD.

    AND HE LIKED THEM.

    I almost needed to document the date and time for historical records.

    😂

    I’m grateful for my sister calling.

    My mom helping when she can.

    Mawmaw Nesi magically retrieving Sissy’s phone from behind the couch and allowing us to convince a four-year-old that Mawmaw possesses supernatural abilities.

    My work kid getting on the phone long enough for me to say hi before I go back Tuesday after being gone for a month.

    And all the tiny ways people around here keep taking care of each other.

    Sometimes I’m the one doing it.

    Sometimes somebody else is.

    And this week reminded me that both matter.


    😂 This Week’s “Well…That Happened.”

    THE MEDUSA DOORBELL.

    There were a lot of contenders this week.

    The $115 macaroni-and-cheese trip where I forgot the macaroni and cheese.

    The vacuum motorcycle.

    Sissy licking sprinkles off the counter.

    The boys waking up Friday and apparently choosing organized crime.

    But no.

    The Medusa doorbell wins.

    My sister bought a Halloween doorbell.

    Cool.

    Cute.

    Festive.

    It’s this gray plastic Medusa face with snakes in her hair and a little red button underneath.

    She’s holding it while I’m talking.

    She doesn’t interrupt me.

    Just kind of presents the button.

    So naturally, without stopping my story, I reach over and press it.

    I assumed it would play Halloween music.

    Maybe scream.

    Maybe say something spooky.

    I was wrong.

    Very wrong.

    Within approximately three seconds—

    Medusa’s little snake tongue SHOOTS OUT and licks my finger.

    The doorbell screams:

    DING DONG!

    Her eyes start flashing red.

    Then she starts EVIL LAUGHING.

    And apparently my body interpreted this as an actual venomous attack because my heart immediately relocated to my asshole, my soul exited through the ceiling, I jerked my hand back like I had been bitten and yelled:

    “OW! MOTHERFUCKER!”

    😭😂

    My sister is laughing so hard she can’t breathe.

    Pooh Boy is running for protection.

    Doodoo is hiding by the couch because he wants absolutely nothing to do with Medusa—

    but is also laughing at me for getting scared.

    Traitor.

    ☠️

    Poor Pooh Boy got so scared that he would not let me put him down afterward.

    So I eventually left my sister’s house carrying him.

    He stayed the night.

    All because I pushed a fucking doorbell.

    😂

    I would also like to point out that this happened during the same week that I spent an entire day watching true-crime documentaries.

    Monday afternoon, I ate cold mini ravioli straight from the can while watching Motherly Instinct show crime-scene photos involving the murder of a pregnant woman.

    Nothing says:

    bon appétit

    quite like homicide.

    Then that evening Mawmaw Nesi joined me for Worst Neighbor Ever.

    We’re sitting there watching it.

    Door cracked open.

    Both cars outside.

    Suddenly:

    knock knock.

    We pause.

    Look at each other.

    Look at the door.

    Look back at each other.

    There was an actual moment where we considered closing the already-open door and pretending nobody was home.

    Despite the fact that whoever was outside could literally watch us do it.

    😂

    She finally answered.

    It was a door-to-door salesman.

    Selling—

    HOME SECURITY.

    Sir.

    Your timing could not possibly be worse.

    Or better.

    I don’t know.

    😂

    Anyway.

    We declined.

    Closed the door.

    And went back to watching Worst Neighbor Ever.

    As one does.


    Now it’s Sunday evening.

    The kids are gone.

    Their wet clothes are in the washer.

    The giant swing set is standing in the backyard.

    My period is still here, although thankfully today has been much less painful than yesterday.

    I am curled up in the recliner.

    My boyfriend is playing Palworld with his best friend.

    And unlike last Sunday—

    nothing has been vomited onto my phone.

    So already?

    Improvement.

    😂

    This week somehow included:

    Three kids.

    A suspiciously peaceful Monday and Tuesday.

    A four-year-old running on approximately four hours of sleep.

    Potty victories.

    Potty accidents.

    Baby pancakes.

    Baby waffles.

    Clay.

    A pink, blue, and purple swirl cake.

    Sissy licking the counter.

    Bubble-bath ball pits.

    A broken vacuum.

    A replacement vacuum belt.

    A replacement vacuum brush.

    A vacuum that sounds like it belongs in a motorcycle gang.

    Princess-treatment bubble baths.

    Chicken sliders.

    McDonald’s.

    A magical Mawmaw.

    A tire.

    A busted jack.

    Big Bertha, the hundred-pound jack.

    A $25 playground.

    A playhouse.

    A bouncy horse.

    Sunburns.

    Period cramps.

    And approximately seven thousand repetitions of:

    “NeeNee.”

    At some point Friday, the boys completely lost their minds.

    Doodoo was climbing onto tables and digging through ashtrays.

    Pooh Boy grabbed Sissy by the hair and started dragging her across the floor.

    There was biting.

    Hitting.

    Headbutting.

    Kicking.

    Screaming.

    Things flying through the air.

    Me saying:

    “No.”

    “STOP.”

    “Put it down.”

    “Give it back.”

    “Leave her alone.”

    And in the middle of all this—

    Sissy was calmly singing:

    “The Itsy Bitsy Spider.”

    😭😂

    That may actually be the most accurate representation of this entire week.

    Chaos happening everywhere.

    And somebody in the middle of it just—

    singing.

    Maybe that’s what Sunday Things has always been, really.

    Not the huge moments.

    Not the perfect ones.

    Just life happening loudly around us.

    Someone needs something.

    Someone is hungry even though they ate twelve minutes ago.

    Someone is crying.

    Someone is laughing.

    Someone is probably doing something they absolutely should not be doing.

    There are toys everywhere.

    There are wet clothes in the washer.

    There is always another load of laundry coming.

    And sometimes I need everybody to stop touching me for two fucking minutes.

    😂

    But the house is full.

    And tonight, for a little while anyway—

    it’s quiet.

    So I’m staying right here.

    In my recliner.

    I am not cleaning anything else.

    I am not building anything else.

    I am not fixing anything else.

    I am absolutely not moving that playhouse tonight.

    And if somebody needs something?

    They can become Monday’s problem.

    Wait.

    No.

    We tried that already.

    😂

    Until next time,

    —Destiny

    P.S. I asked for fewer bodily fluids this week. Technically, I got them. Apparently I should’ve also specified fewer headbutts, broken appliances, surprise Medusa attacks, and toddlers inside my personal space. 😂

  • Learning to Look Closer #8

    I almost didn’t take this picture.

    There wasn’t anything particularly exciting happening.

    I wasn’t somewhere new.

    There wasn’t a perfect, wide-open view of the sunset.

    There were just trees.

    A lot of them, actually. 😂

    Branches everywhere. Power lines near the bottom. One tree that looks like it gave up on having leaves before everybody else.

    And somewhere behind all of it, the sky was glowing.

    So I stopped.

    And I looked up.

    The sunset wasn’t perfectly framed. The trees blocked most of it. I couldn’t see the horizon, and there was no way to get a “better” view without going somewhere else.

    But I didn’t really want a better view.

    I liked this one.

    Because the light kept finding little places to come through.

    Between the branches.

    Through the leaves.

    Around the trees.

    Little pieces of gold tucked into all that darkness.

    And the longer I stood there looking at it, the more there was to see.

    There was still blue hiding at the top of the sky.

    Soft pink mixed into the clouds.

    Bright yellow and orange burning through the thickest parts of the trees.

    Living branches tangled together with bare ones.

    None of it was neat.

    None of it was unobstructed.

    And somehow, that made it prettier.

    I think sometimes we get so used to looking for the perfect view that we forget to appreciate the one we actually have.

    We want the sunset without the power lines.

    The sky without the branches.

    The picture without anything getting in the way.

    But maybe everything in the way is part of the picture, too.

    Maybe the trees weren’t blocking the sunset.

    Maybe they were showing me where the light was.

    So, I took the picture.

    Not because it was perfect.

    Just because I looked up at the right moment and thought,

    Oh.

    That’s pretty.

    And sometimes, that’s reason enough.

    —Destiny

    P.S. When was the last time you stopped to look at something ordinary long enough to realize it was actually kind of beautiful?

  • Sunday Things #4

    It’s strange how quickly your definition of a good day can change.

    A couple of weeks ago, a good day probably wouldn’t have been defined by taking a shower without immediately needing to lie down afterward.

    Or being able to leave the house for a few hours.

    Or waking up and realizing the cramps that had been trying to kill me for three straight days were finally gone.

    But apparently, this is where we are now. 😂

    This week was my first full week of recovery, and I am learning that healing has absolutely no interest in being consistent.

    One day, I feel almost normal.

    The next, standing in the shower for a little too long makes me feel like I’ve run a marathon.

    And somewhere in the middle of all of that, my period decided this was the perfect time to show up and make everything approximately 700 times worse.

    My body has been through enough.

    She could’ve sat this month out. 😒

    Still, by the end of the week, things started feeling a little more normal.

    I left the house.

    I saw family.

    My nephews stayed the night.

    I went to a baby shower.

    I picked up my camera again.

    And for a few hours today, I wasn’t sitting around thinking about recovering from surgery.

    I was just…out.

    Doing something.

    Being around people.

    Feeling a little bit like myself again.

    Turns out, I missed her.


    ☕ This Week’s Comfort

    Movies in bed.

    My boyfriend renting the new Backrooms movie so we could watch it at home.

    Cuddling in the recliner while watching him play video games.

    My heating pad, even though it completely betrayed me when I actually needed it.

    Naps.

    Clean clothes.

    A long shower.

    And finally reaching the point where getting comfortable doesn’t require rearranging seventeen pillows and negotiating with my abdomen first.

    There is something deeply underrated about the first few days after surgery when ordinary things start feeling ordinary again.


    📷 Through My Lens

    I picked up my camera again this week.

    Not for long.

    Not for some planned photography adventure.

    I took it with me to my friend’s baby shower, and I ended up getting some really good pictures of her.

    And I think I needed that more than I realized.

    After spending so much time in bed or in the recliner, watching the world happen from one spot, it felt really good to look through my camera again.

    To notice light.

    Expressions.

    Little moments worth keeping.

    I’m still healing.

    I’m still limited.

    But apparently my creativity didn’t go anywhere.

    It was just waiting for me to get off the couch. 😂


    💭 A Thought I’ve Been Carrying

    There’s a weird point in recovery where you start feeling better before you’re actually better.

    And I think I’ve reached it.

    Friday, I had very little pain. After the week I’d had, I felt damn near fully recovered.

    Then I move around too much and my body very quickly reminds me:

    Ma’am.

    You literally just had surgery.

    I’m ready to do things again.

    I’m ready to go places.

    I’m ready to stop thinking about whether something is too heavy for me to lift.

    More than anything, I’m ready to be able to pick up my nephews again. 😭

    But feeling better and being healed aren’t the same thing.

    Unfortunately, my body seems to understand that better than my brain does.

    So, for now, I’m trying to listen when it tells me I’ve done enough.

    Even when I really, really don’t want to.


    ❤️ This Week’s Gratitude

    My sister.

    Without question.

    This period hit me like a fucking freight train.

    Norco didn’t touch the cramps.

    Ibuprofen didn’t touch them.

    My heating pad basically looked at me and said, good luck though.

    Then my sister showed up with Midol and more disposable period panties because she knew I was miserable.

    I could have cried. 🥹

    There are grand gestures of love, and then there is somebody showing up with exactly what you need when you feel like absolute shit.

    I’ll take the second one every time.

    I’m also grateful for my boyfriend, who has spent another week taking care of me, keeping me company, watching movies with me, and generally making being stuck at home suck a little less.

    For my nephews coming over.

    For getting to see friends today.

    For being able to go to my friend’s baby shower, even if I did have to leave a little early when I started getting sore.

    And for my body.

    Even though I have complained about her approximately 4,762 times this week, she’s healing.

    I should probably give her a little credit for that.


    😂 This Week’s “Well…That Happened.”

    Where do I even begin?

    First:

    Today’s poop was easier.

    Listen.

    Post-surgery, you celebrate different milestones. 😂

    Second, I got my period immediately after abdominal surgery because apparently my uterus saw everything else happening down there and said,

    You know what this situation needs? More blood.

    And because I can’t use tampons right now, I have been introduced to the wonderful world of disposable period panties.

    I support free bleeding.

    I really do.

    But I prefer my free bleeding to happen while I am sitting on the toilet like God and plumbing intended.

    Feeling blood slowly leave your body while you’re wearing what is essentially a socially acceptable diaper?

    Absolutely fucking not.

    0/10.

    Hated the experience.

    And finally…

    Today at my friend’s baby shower, we played the game where you guess how big around the pregnant belly is.

    I won.

    I was only off by two inches.

    How did I estimate the measurement so accurately?

    Did I carefully study her belly?

    Use some sort of spatial reasoning?

    Possess an unexplained talent for estimating circumference?

    No.

    I measured my boobs. ☠️☠️☠️

    And apparently my boobs are an excellent unit of measurement.

    I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this information now that I have it.

    But I won.

    So.

    Science. 😂

    Until next time.

    -Destiny

    P.s.- What’s one little thing that made you feel like yourself again this week?