Random thought I had in the shower…
Conditioner.
How many people only put it on their roots?
How many people only put it on the ends?
How many people put it in and rinse it right back out?
And…
How many people actually leave it in for the recommended 2–3 minutes?
I have so many questions.
That’s it.
That’s the whole thought.
Until next time,
—Destiny
P.S. Be honest… what’s your conditioner routine?
There’s something about Sundays that makes me look back at the week a little differently.
The little moments start connecting.
The uncomfortable ones.
The funny ones.
The ones that seemed insignificant at the time but somehow became the story.
This week wasn’t productive.
It wasn’t exciting.
It was slow.
And maybe that’s exactly what I needed.
For the first time in a long time, I didn’t have the option to keep moving.
My body made that decision for me.
A heating pad.
King of the Hill playing in the background.
Naps that happened whenever they happened.
And finally being able to shower after surgery.
Sometimes comfort isn’t exciting.
Sometimes it’s simply finding one position that doesn’t hurt.
I didn’t pick up my camera this week.
Instead, I spent a lot of time noticing things from the recliner.
How quickly the days blurred together.
How different every hour of recovery felt.
And how healing can somehow feel painfully slow and surprisingly fast at the same time.
This week reminded me that healing isn’t passive.
It feels like you’re doing nothing…
but your body is doing everything.
I’ve spent so much of my life feeling guilty whenever I slowed down.
This week, I didn’t have a choice.
And maybe that’s okay.
Maybe resting is still moving forward.
Just in a different direction.
I’m grateful the surgery went well.
I’m grateful they finally found answers.
I’m grateful for heating pads.
For nurses who don’t wait for you to ask if you’re hurting.
For pain medicine that worked faster than I thought was possible.
For everyone who checked in on me.
And especially for my boyfriend, who has spent the week making sure I haven’t had to worry about much of anything except getting better.
I have become painfully aware of just how many things require your abdominal muscles.
Shifting positions?
Sore.
Walking?
Sore.
Coughing?
Absolutely not.
Yawning?
Apparently that’s an abdominal activity now, too.
Even getting comfortable requires getting uncomfortable first.
I knew I was going to be sore after surgery.
I just didn’t realize my stomach was involved in approximately 97% of existing.
And then, of course, there’s pooping after surgery.
That’s an entire adventure of its own.
I’ll leave it at that.
🌱 This Week’s Small Joy
My peanut butter pie finally arrived. 😅
I knew it was coming.
I’ve been waiting for it.
And after spending several days snacking more than actually eating, I was VERY happy to finally see that pie.
There were other little things, too.
Video calls with my sister that kept me sane.
My heating pad practically becoming another appendage.
King of the Hill playing while I drifted in and out of naps.
And noticing the bloating and gas finally starting to ease up.
Nothing huge.
But this wasn’t really a week for huge things.
This was a week for finding something good in the small ones.
Until next time.
-Destiny
P.S. What’s one small thing that made a hard day feel a little easier this week? I’d love to hear about it. 🖤
I have officially reached the stage of surgery recovery where I am publicly celebrating a bowel movement.
After taking stool softeners all week and adding Miralax this morning, it finally happened.
There was, however, some engineering involved.
I didn’t want to strain and hurt my stomach, so I needed something to elevate my feet.
Enter: my niece’s potty chair.
Was this its intended purpose?
Absolutely not.
Did it work?
Absolutely.
Recovery is glamorous. 🤣
— Destiny
I am completely at peace as darkness wraps me in her sweet embrace.
I’m not scared.
I’m not worried.
I have no apprehension for what’s to come.
I welcome her like an old friend.
We sit together.
We talk.
We dream about all the could bes and what ifs.
She listens without interruption.
She understands without explanation.
With her, I can be completely honest about who I am.
There are no expectations.
No judgments.
Only acceptance.
“Just breathe,” she whispers each night as she wraps her arms around me, and for a little while, the rest of the world disappears.
Together, we become one.
Every night, without fail, she finds her way back to me.
And every night, we begin another adventure.
Then morning comes.
“Be at peace,” she reminds me as daylight slowly loosens her grip.
She never leaves with sadness.
Only with the quiet promise that she’ll return.
And she always does.
Until next time…
Darkness, my old friend.
I’ll be missing you.
— Destiny
P.S. If this poem spoke to you, I’d love to know what it means to you. I think poetry is at its best when every reader finds something different between the lines. 🖤
Recovery is strange.
Everyone prepares you for the surgery.
Not many people prepare you for the waiting afterward.
Today has mostly been heating pads, naps, walking a little, trying to get comfortable, and discovering that the trapped gas from laparoscopic surgery is somehow more annoying than the incisions themselves.
I’ve become very grateful for whoever invented heating pads.
(Seriously.)
My body feels like it’s reminding me every few minutes that it went through something yesterday.
Not in a scary way.
Just in an honest one.
Recovery isn’t dramatic.
It’s slow.
It’s uncomfortable.
It’s watching another episode because getting up sounds like too much work.
It’s celebrating small victories that normally wouldn’t deserve mentioning.
Like finally being able to use the bathroom.
Or realizing you can laugh without it hurting quite as much as it did yesterday.
I don’t have many answers yet.
Those come in a couple of weeks.
For now, my only job is to rest.
And for someone who always likes to be doing something…
That might be the hardest part.
— Destiny
P.S. Healing doesn’t always look productive. Sometimes it just looks like giving your body permission to catch up.
Some people will look at this photo and see a little boy playing with a hat that’s much too big for him.
I see something else.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had this silly habit of balancing random things on my head and dramatically “sneezing” them off just to make him laugh.
The other day, he crawled up beside me, grabbed my hat, pulled it over his face, and started trying to “sneeze” it off himself.
Nobody taught him to do that.
He was watching.
It’s funny how children are paying attention long before we realize they are. They notice our words, our habits, our routines, and even the little things we do without thinking.
Sometimes, they love us by becoming a little bit like us.
That realization stopped me in my tracks.
This picture isn’t just of my nephew wearing a hat that’s too big for him.
It’s a reminder that someone I love is learning from me every single day.
And if I’m being honest…
That melts my whole heart.
I wouldn’t picture my life being any better without him.
Until next time,
-Destiny
P.S.-What’s something you’ve caught a child doing that made you stop and think, “Yep… they definitely got that from me.” 😂
Yesterday, I ended my journal entry by saying I’d let you know what today brought.
So…
Here’s the update.
The surgery went well.
The doctors found endometriosis.
They also found fibroids on the back side of my uterus.
As strange as it sounds, I actually felt relieved hearing that.
Not because I’m happy to have either of those things, obviously. But because after wondering for so long, there’s finally an explanation for at least part of what I’ve been experiencing.
I’ll know more in about two weeks when I go back for my follow-up appointment, but for now, I’m just grateful to finally have some answers.
When I woke up after surgery, I was cramping like I was on my period, and I was definitely uncomfortable.
The nurse gave me some medication through my IV, and within seconds the cramps eased up.
I looked at her and joked that I needed them to prescribe whatever that was for my periods because I’ve never had anything work that fast before.
After that, I celebrated my successful surgery with the world’s most gourmet meal:
Saltine crackers and a Sprite.
Honestly?
Not bad.
One thing I wasn’t expecting was the heated gown.
Why has nobody told me those things exist?
That may have been one of my favorite discoveries of the day.
I’ve been home since around noon, sleeping on and off in the recliner, wrapped up in my blanket with Bailey Sarian playing in the background.
My boyfriend stayed with me through everything today, waited while I was in surgery, and has been taking such good care of me since we got home.
He’s definitely earned a few extra brownie points. 🖤
Thankfully, I’m not in the kind of pain I was preparing myself for.
Mostly, I’m just uncomfortable, crampy, and unbelievably sleepy.
I have a feeling tonight will end the same way most of today has gone…
With another nap.
Yesterday I wrote that maybe today would bring answers.
It did.
Not all of them.
But enough to finally feel like we’re moving in the right direction.
For now, I think that’s enough.
I’ll keep you updated after my follow-up appointment in a couple of weeks.
Until next time,
-Destiny
P.S. For now, my only plans involve naps, blankets, and letting my body do the hard work of healing. 🖤
Tomorrow morning, I’ll be having surgery.
I’ve noticed something kind of funny.
Everyone else seems more concerned about it than I am.
People keep asking if I’m nervous, and I keep giving them the same answer.
Not really.
I’ve never been someone who gets overwhelmed by surgeries. My mindset has always been pretty simple:
It is what it is.
Life keeps moving.
And today proved that.
Today was the last day of summer school.
The building felt different. Everyone was excited for summer to officially begin, but there was also a quiet sadness woven into the day. Two of my coworkers are moving on to different chapters. One is leaving altogether, and another accepted a new position, so today was our last day working together.
It’s funny how a place can feel different the moment you realize someone won’t be there tomorrow.
After work, I spent part of the afternoon driving friends around because life apparently decided everyone’s car should act up at the same time.
Later tonight, my boyfriend and I are going to see if we can help fix one of them before coming home, making dinner, and ending the night the way we usually do—with something familiar playing on the TV and a chance to unwind.
In between all of that…
I have surgery tomorrow.
I’m not packing a hospital bag.
I’ll throw on a pair of baggy sweatpants, grab my favorite blanket, and head out in the morning.
Tomorrow morning I’ll be getting up about an hour and a half earlier than I’m used to.
Other than that, it’ll probably feel like any other weekday.
I’ll get dressed.
I’ll put on deodorant.
I’ll brush my teeth.
I’ll stand in the bathroom getting ready for the day just like I always do.
The only thing missing will be my morning medication. Since I’m not allowed to eat or drink before surgery, I’ll be skipping that part of my routine.
It’s funny how something that feels so big can begin in such an ordinary way.
The surgery itself doesn’t really scare me.
If anything, I’m more curious than afraid.
Curious about what they’ll find.
Curious if this will finally answer some of the questions I’ve been carrying for a long time.
This procedure is another step in trying to understand why becoming a mom hasn’t happened for us naturally.
Maybe they’ll find something.
Maybe they won’t.
I think the only thing that really makes me nervous is the conversation afterward.
The moment the doctor comes out to explain what they found.
I’ll probably still be waking up from anesthesia, trying to keep my eyes open, and I know I’m not exactly known for remembering much afterward. I’m hoping whoever’s with me catches the things I won’t.
Other than that…
Life feels surprisingly normal.
Dinner still has to be made.
Cars still break down.
People still move on to new jobs.
Summer school still ends.
Tomorrow just happens to include a hospital in the middle of all of it.
Maybe tomorrow will bring answers.
Maybe it’ll bring more questions.
Either way…
It’s another step forward.
And right now, I think that’s enough.
I’ll let you know what tomorrow brings.
— Destiny
P.S. I’ll be back soon. Hopefully with a few more answers… and at least one good anesthesia story. 🖤
Jeffrey Dahmer once worked in a chocolate factory.
I’m not entirely sure what you’re supposed to do with that information.
But now you know.
So if I had to carry it around…
You do too.
Until next time,
— Destiny
P.S. I collect unnecessary facts like some people collect stamps.
There’s something about Sundays that makes me look back at the week a little differently.
The little moments start connecting.
The random conversations, the small victories, the things that almost got forgotten somehow end up becoming the parts I remember the most.
This week wasn’t loud.
But it was full.
For the first time in a while, I felt ahead instead of behind. I spent a lot of time writing, researching, and creating, and I realized how much I’ve missed having a project that genuinely excites me. History After Dark is quickly becoming one of my favorite things I’ve ever worked on.
☕ This Week’s Comfort
Morning quiet.
Writing before work.
Watching Bailey Sarian while my nephews napped.
And realizing one burned out bathroom light somehow made the room feel…cozier instead of darker.
📷 Through My Lens
Saturday’s photoshoot almost didn’t go as planned.
The rain sent us downtown instead of out to the sunflower field, and honestly, I wouldn’t change it. We ended up with some of my favorite photos we’ve taken.
Sometimes the backup plan ends up being the better story.
💭 A Thought I’ve Been Carrying
I think creativity comes in seasons.
Some weeks I struggle to write a paragraph.
This week I finished my first History After Dark article, completed my second, finished all the research for my third, and somehow still found myself writing down ideas for novels after waking up from strange dreams.
Maybe inspiration doesn’t disappear.
Maybe it just waits until we’re paying attention again.
❤️ This Week’s Gratitude
I’m grateful my niece was okay.
I’m grateful my little guy at work caught the ball and threw it back to me. It sounds like such a small thing, but for him, it was huge.
I’m grateful for tiny milestones—whether it’s hearing my oldest nephew proudly say, “I want my bibi,” or watching another child take his first lunch outside.
And I’m grateful that I finally found a series I can’t wait to keep writing.
😂 This Week’s “Well…That Happened.”
I somehow ended up having a serious conversation about cannibalism.
I learned I apparently know far too much about the subject.
I also accidentally corrected someone’s classification of human meat…
…and they stopped texting me shortly after.
I’m choosing to believe they just got busy.
🌱 This Week’s Small Joy
Feeding a squirrel out of my hand.
She was tiny.
She was brave.
And she absolutely made my day.
Here’s to another week.
Hopefully one with fewer hiccups, fewer hospital visits, and fewer conversations where I accidentally sound like I belong on an FBI watchlist.
Until next time,
— Destiny
P.S. What’s one unexpected thing that made you smile this week? I’d love to hear it.
