Tomorrow morning, I’ll be having surgery.
I’ve noticed something kind of funny.
Everyone else seems more concerned about it than I am.
People keep asking if I’m nervous, and I keep giving them the same answer.
Not really.
I’ve never been someone who gets overwhelmed by surgeries. My mindset has always been pretty simple:
It is what it is.
Life keeps moving.
And today proved that.
Today was the last day of summer school.
The building felt different. Everyone was excited for summer to officially begin, but there was also a quiet sadness woven into the day. Two of my coworkers are moving on to different chapters. One is leaving altogether, and another accepted a new position, so today was our last day working together.
It’s funny how a place can feel different the moment you realize someone won’t be there tomorrow.
After work, I spent part of the afternoon driving friends around because life apparently decided everyone’s car should act up at the same time.
Later tonight, my boyfriend and I are going to see if we can help fix one of them before coming home, making dinner, and ending the night the way we usually do—with something familiar playing on the TV and a chance to unwind.
In between all of that…
I have surgery tomorrow.
I’m not packing a hospital bag.
I’ll throw on a pair of baggy sweatpants, grab my favorite blanket, and head out in the morning.
Tomorrow morning I’ll be getting up about an hour and a half earlier than I’m used to.
Other than that, it’ll probably feel like any other weekday.
I’ll get dressed.
I’ll put on deodorant.
I’ll brush my teeth.
I’ll stand in the bathroom getting ready for the day just like I always do.
The only thing missing will be my morning medication. Since I’m not allowed to eat or drink before surgery, I’ll be skipping that part of my routine.
It’s funny how something that feels so big can begin in such an ordinary way.
The surgery itself doesn’t really scare me.
If anything, I’m more curious than afraid.
Curious about what they’ll find.
Curious if this will finally answer some of the questions I’ve been carrying for a long time.
This procedure is another step in trying to understand why becoming a mom hasn’t happened for us naturally.
Maybe they’ll find something.
Maybe they won’t.
I think the only thing that really makes me nervous is the conversation afterward.
The moment the doctor comes out to explain what they found.
I’ll probably still be waking up from anesthesia, trying to keep my eyes open, and I know I’m not exactly known for remembering much afterward. I’m hoping whoever’s with me catches the things I won’t.
Other than that…
Life feels surprisingly normal.
Dinner still has to be made.
Cars still break down.
People still move on to new jobs.
Summer school still ends.
Tomorrow just happens to include a hospital in the middle of all of it.
Maybe tomorrow will bring answers.
Maybe it’ll bring more questions.
Either way…
It’s another step forward.
And right now, I think that’s enough.
I’ll let you know what tomorrow brings.
— Destiny
P.S. I’ll be back soon. Hopefully with a few more answers… and at least one good anesthesia story. 🖤
destinylaharris 