It’s strange how quickly your definition of a good day can change.
A couple of weeks ago, a good day probably wouldn’t have been defined by taking a shower without immediately needing to lie down afterward.
Or being able to leave the house for a few hours.
Or waking up and realizing the cramps that had been trying to kill me for three straight days were finally gone.
But apparently, this is where we are now. 😂
This week was my first full week of recovery, and I am learning that healing has absolutely no interest in being consistent.
One day, I feel almost normal.
The next, standing in the shower for a little too long makes me feel like I’ve run a marathon.
And somewhere in the middle of all of that, my period decided this was the perfect time to show up and make everything approximately 700 times worse.
My body has been through enough.
She could’ve sat this month out. 😒
Still, by the end of the week, things started feeling a little more normal.
I left the house.
I saw family.
My nephews stayed the night.
I went to a baby shower.
I picked up my camera again.
And for a few hours today, I wasn’t sitting around thinking about recovering from surgery.
I was just…out.
Doing something.
Being around people.
Feeling a little bit like myself again.
Turns out, I missed her.
☕ This Week’s Comfort
Movies in bed.
My boyfriend renting the new Backrooms movie so we could watch it at home.
Cuddling in the recliner while watching him play video games.
My heating pad, even though it completely betrayed me when I actually needed it.
Naps.
Clean clothes.
A long shower.
And finally reaching the point where getting comfortable doesn’t require rearranging seventeen pillows and negotiating with my abdomen first.
There is something deeply underrated about the first few days after surgery when ordinary things start feeling ordinary again.
📷 Through My Lens
I picked up my camera again this week.
Not for long.
Not for some planned photography adventure.
I took it with me to my friend’s baby shower, and I ended up getting some really good pictures of her.
And I think I needed that more than I realized.
After spending so much time in bed or in the recliner, watching the world happen from one spot, it felt really good to look through my camera again.
To notice light.
Expressions.
Little moments worth keeping.
I’m still healing.
I’m still limited.
But apparently my creativity didn’t go anywhere.
It was just waiting for me to get off the couch. 😂
💭 A Thought I’ve Been Carrying
There’s a weird point in recovery where you start feeling better before you’re actually better.
And I think I’ve reached it.
Friday, I had very little pain. After the week I’d had, I felt damn near fully recovered.
Then I move around too much and my body very quickly reminds me:
Ma’am.
You literally just had surgery.
I’m ready to do things again.
I’m ready to go places.
I’m ready to stop thinking about whether something is too heavy for me to lift.
More than anything, I’m ready to be able to pick up my nephews again. 😭
But feeling better and being healed aren’t the same thing.
Unfortunately, my body seems to understand that better than my brain does.
So, for now, I’m trying to listen when it tells me I’ve done enough.
Even when I really, really don’t want to.
❤️ This Week’s Gratitude
My sister.
Without question.
This period hit me like a fucking freight train.
Norco didn’t touch the cramps.
Ibuprofen didn’t touch them.
My heating pad basically looked at me and said, good luck though.
Then my sister showed up with Midol and more disposable period panties because she knew I was miserable.
I could have cried. 🥹
There are grand gestures of love, and then there is somebody showing up with exactly what you need when you feel like absolute shit.
I’ll take the second one every time.
I’m also grateful for my boyfriend, who has spent another week taking care of me, keeping me company, watching movies with me, and generally making being stuck at home suck a little less.
For my nephews coming over.
For getting to see friends today.
For being able to go to my friend’s baby shower, even if I did have to leave a little early when I started getting sore.
And for my body.
Even though I have complained about her approximately 4,762 times this week, she’s healing.
I should probably give her a little credit for that.
😂 This Week’s “Well…That Happened.”
Where do I even begin?
First:
Today’s poop was easier.
Listen.
Post-surgery, you celebrate different milestones. 😂
Second, I got my period immediately after abdominal surgery because apparently my uterus saw everything else happening down there and said,
You know what this situation needs? More blood.
And because I can’t use tampons right now, I have been introduced to the wonderful world of disposable period panties.
I support free bleeding.
I really do.
But I prefer my free bleeding to happen while I am sitting on the toilet like God and plumbing intended.
Feeling blood slowly leave your body while you’re wearing what is essentially a socially acceptable diaper?
Absolutely fucking not.
0/10.
Hated the experience.
And finally…
Today at my friend’s baby shower, we played the game where you guess how big around the pregnant belly is.
I won.
I was only off by two inches.
How did I estimate the measurement so accurately?
Did I carefully study her belly?
Use some sort of spatial reasoning?
Possess an unexplained talent for estimating circumference?
No.
I measured my boobs. ☠️☠️☠️
And apparently my boobs are an excellent unit of measurement.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this information now that I have it.
But I won.
So.
Science. 😂
Until next time.
-Destiny
P.s.- What’s one little thing that made you feel like yourself again this week?
destinylaharris 