Tag: sirens

  • Between the Lines #10: The Siren Who Could Not Sing

    There are some poems that start with an idea.

    And then there are some that quietly become about something much bigger while you’re writing them.

    The Siren Who Could Not Sing started with a simple question:

    What happens to a siren who can’t sing?

    Not one whose voice was stolen.

    Not one who eventually discovers some hidden, magical song.

    Just—

    a siren who cannot do the one thing everyone says a siren is supposed to do.

    And the more I sat with that idea, the less this poem became about sirens.

    Because I think a lot of us know what it feels like to live inside an expectation we were never able to meet.


    The Siren Who Could Not Sing

    They knew something was wrong
    the first time I opened my mouth
    and the sea stayed still.

    No sailors turned their heads.

    No ships changed course.

    No man forgot
    the name of the woman
    waiting for him at home.

    Nothing happened.

    My sisters sang
    and entire oceans
    leaned closer.

    I sang—

    and heard only
    the small, broken sound
    of breath.

    A siren
    without a voice.

    There are cruelties
    even mythology
    doesn’t prepare you for.

    To be born
    with a name
    that promises something

    your body
    cannot give.

    They tried to teach me.

    Again.

    Again.

    Breathe deeper.

    Try harder.

    You aren’t trying.

    As though effort
    could grow music
    inside a throat
    that had never learned
    how to hold it.

    Eventually,

    they stopped asking me
    to sing with them.

    That hurt more.

    I would sit
    on the rocks
    and watch my sisters

    become everything
    we were created to be.

    Beautiful.

    Terrible.

    Unavoidable.

    Their songs
    crossed miles of water.

    Mine couldn’t cross
    my own lips.

    So I became useful
    in other ways.

    I watched the horizon.

    Counted ships.

    Collected what the ocean
    returned.

    Learned the names
    of constellations
    because stars
    never asked me
    to perform.

    Still,

    I hated them sometimes.

    My sisters.

    Not because
    they could sing.

    Because they never had
    to wonder

    who they would be
    if they couldn’t.

    Do you know
    what it does to you

    to lose something
    everyone insists
    is the reason
    you exist?

    You start believing
    absence
    is the same thing
    as failure.

    You start introducing yourself
    with an apology.

    You start thinking

    almost

    is another word
    for worthless.

    Then one night,

    a ship broke apart
    against the rocks.

    There had been no song.

    No seduction.

    Only a storm
    with no interest
    in who deserved
    to survive it.

    A sailor washed ashore.

    Alive.

    Barely.

    He looked at me
    and begged,

    “Please.”

    I opened my mouth.

    Nothing.

    Of course.

    So I didn’t sing.

    I pulled him
    from the water.

    Stayed beside him
    until morning.

    And when he woke,

    he didn’t ask
    why I had no song.

    He didn’t ask
    what kind of siren
    couldn’t lure a man
    to his death.

    He only said,

    “You saved me.”

    I had never heard
    those words before.

    All my life,

    I had been taught
    that a siren’s power

    was measured
    by how many people
    she could make
    follow her voice.

    No one ever told me

    there might be power
    in refusing
    to let someone drown.

    My sisters still sing.

    The sea still listens.

    Ships still tremble
    when their voices
    cross the water.

    And me?

    I am still silent.

    Some things
    do not grow back
    just because
    we finally understand
    their absence.

    But I no longer
    open my mouth
    and wait for music

    to prove
    I belong here.

    I am a siren.

    Not despite
    the silence.

    Not because of it.

    I simply am.

    And perhaps
    the cruelest thing
    they ever taught me

    was that the thing
    I was missing

    was the thing

    that made me

    whole.


    The part of this poem that sits heaviest with me isn’t actually the silence.

    It’s this:

    You aren’t trying.

    Because how many times do we say some version of that to people?

    Try harder.

    Push yourself.

    Everybody else can do it.

    You just need to practice.

    You just need to want it badly enough.

    As though effort is some magical currency we can exchange for ability.

    As though wanting something badly enough guarantees our bodies, our minds, or our circumstances will cooperate.

    Sometimes they don’t.

    And sometimes the cruelest thing you can do to someone who is already struggling is convince them that their inability is proof they didn’t try hard enough.

    The siren spends years believing there must be something wrong with her because everyone around her possesses the thing she is missing.

    Her sisters don’t even have to think about singing.

    They simply open their mouths—

    and the world responds.

    Meanwhile, she keeps trying to become something that was never going to happen.

    And I think comparison hurts the most when you’re comparing yourself to people who have never had to question the thing you’re fighting so hard to become.

    They don’t know what it feels like to sit on the rocks and watch.

    They don’t know what it feels like to be almost what everyone expected.

    They don’t have to wonder:

    Who am I if I can’t do the thing everyone says makes me who I am?

    That question is the real heart of this poem.

    Because we attach identity to things constantly.

    A good mother does this.

    A successful person looks like this.

    A strong person handles things this way.

    A woman should be this.

    A man should provide that.

    A writer should write like this.

    A body should be able to do that.

    And when we don’t fit whatever definition we were handed?

    We start shrinking ourselves around the missing piece.

    We introduce ourselves with an apology.

    We explain ourselves before anyone even asks.

    We start treating different like it means defective.

    That’s why I didn’t want her voice to magically appear at the end.

    I could have done that.

    The sailor could have awakened, she could have opened her mouth, and suddenly some beautiful song could have poured out.

    It would have been neat.

    Hopeful.

    Very fairy-tale.

    And I would have hated it.

    Because then the poem would still be saying she needed the song.

    She would simply have suffered long enough to finally earn it.

    No.

    She never sings.

    The thing she cannot do at the beginning is still something she cannot do at the end.

    Because sometimes healing doesn’t give you back what you lost.

    Sometimes acceptance doesn’t fix anything.

    Sometimes understanding yourself better does not magically change the thing you had to learn to live without.

    And you are still allowed to be whole.

    That’s why this part matters so much to me:

    I am a siren.

    Not despite
the silence.

    Not because of it.

    I simply am.

    Not despite.

    Because even that can become another kind of cage.

    Look how successful she became despite this.

    Look how strong she is despite that.

    Look what she accomplished even though she is missing something.

    Sometimes I think we become so obsessed with turning every difference into an inspirational story that we accidentally keep reinforcing the idea that there was something wrong with the person to begin with.

    She doesn’t need to become extraordinary because she cannot sing.

    She doesn’t need her silence to become a superpower.

    She doesn’t need to prove that losing one thing gave her something better.

    She is simply a siren.

    Full stop.

    And then there’s the sailor.

    All her life, she has been told that a siren’s power is measured by destruction.

    How many sailors turn their ships.

    How many men follow the voice.

    How many bodies the ocean takes.

    Then someone finally looks at her and says:

    You saved me.

    And suddenly the definition of power changes.

    Maybe the thing everyone around you values isn’t actually the thing that deserves to be valued.

    Maybe being good at what your world rewards doesn’t automatically make that thing good.

    Maybe you can spend your entire life believing you failed a test without ever stopping to ask:

    Who wrote the test?

    Our silent siren cannot lure sailors toward the rocks.

    But when one reaches them anyway—

    she pulls him out.

    And for the first time, she understands that she was measuring herself with a ruler she never chose.

    That might be my favorite thing hiding between these lines.

    She doesn’t finally become the siren everyone expected.

    She stops needing to.

    And I think there is an enormous difference between the two.

    Maybe becoming whole isn’t always about finding the missing piece.

    Maybe sometimes it’s realizing you were never a collection of missing pieces in the first place.

    Until next time,

    —Destiny

    P.S. Have you ever spent so much time trying to become who you thought you were supposed to be that you forgot to ask who you actually were?